Wine & the Dyson

Okay. I know I seriously blab on about how much I love various US cities. I can't choose just one, but Charlotte holds a special place in my heart.

I would have never thought in a million years I'd spend a year of my life there. Not because I didn't like it prior to, but it just wasn't on my places to live list. When I left M and we separated, Kate & Bryan offered their home to me as my safe haven. Literal, safe haven. I left, my dad and newly minted step mom flew in just days after their wedding, we packed everything up, and headed to the QC where I would recover.

I am truly still so thankful and feel very blessed to this day I had such great friends in Kate & Bryan, that they would do something so kind. Healing in Charlotte was great for me and I'm equally as blessed to have made some fantastic friends while there.

So, when I needed a place to drop Piper off while I found a place to live in DC, one of my Charlotte friends watched her for a few weeks. When I went back to pick her up, we were all FINALLY in the same city for a few days to where we could have a girls night. It started out harmless. Just some vino, amazing salsa and chips, blueberries, puppy love, and girlie talk.

Then, after a few hours of fun, it turned into this:

That's right folks. When a swarm of bugs invades your space and you simply can't smash them to bits all over your freshly painted walls, you pull out the Dyson. I'm quite sure we burned off the calories from the chips & salsa by doing this little activity. If not in laughter alone.

I <3 my girlfriends!

What I'm Loving Wednesday

How is everyone's week going so far!?! I have been off the blogging grid for a couple days, busy as ever. I always look forward to sharing the things I'm loving on Wednesdays. If you guys link up for this, leave me a comment with your post so I can come check it out and leave some love for ya ;)

Loving this "Love Never Fails" tank from So.Me by MolleeV.

Available {here} for $30.

I wanted to order one but with shipping, can't justify $40 on a tank top. She has CrAzY cute jewelry too though, so be sure to swing by and check it all out.

"Christiana" Dress by Stretta

Available {here} for $129.

LOVE bandage dresses. They make you feel so dang sexy.

e

We've all seen this on Pinterest by now.

I want to pretend this is photoshopped, because this is just seriously awesome.

Who has the patience!?!

A weird thing to love, but I love Piper's dog food.

Wellness Core Grain Free available {here}.

I'm crazy about what I feed her. It amazes me how ignorant we can be about what we feed our precious pets, but so cautious when it comes to what we put in our mouths. Grains are mainly fillers and since our pets at one time were wild, they thrive on generous meat based foods. They are a few dollars more, but you feed significantly less because they are so rich and filling. Check your dog's food label. If you see the words "meal" or "by-product" = no bueno. Remember also that whatever is listed first, second, etc., that is what there is the most of in the food.

Have you guys ever tried Kombucha?

Read about it {here} and buy it at Whole Foods.

This amazing stuff makes you feel totally energized, refreshed, invigorated, and alive.

It has a little bit of a vinegar taste/smell, so if you can't get past that, it's not for you.

Pick some up next time you're at the store. GT's is my favorite brand and their new Lavender concoction is perfection.

Lastly, I'm LOVING these little buggers got to spend a few days together in Charlotte.

Are they not the most precious girls you've ever seen?

If you're not already, go check out the adventures of Cali (L) and her mom and dad @ Every Mile A Memory.

Letting God Do His Thing

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares theLord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

Jeremiah 29:11-14


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That is one of my core verses. One that I carry with me on a daily basis. One that reminds me of just who God is. A God who has the best of intentions for me in His heart. A God who never leaves me, never forsakes me, and always watches over me.

I love that.

No matter how many trials I've faced, and there's been plenty, God has always come through. It's not always easy to believe in that though.


I have serious anxiety. Like clinically diagnosed anxiety. Not being in a state of panic when things get "iffy" is a rarity. You wouldn't really know it because it's a mostly internal thing, but just about everything sends me in a tailspin. It goes against everything I believe in as a Christian trusting in God's plan. I know things will be okay if I just trust in Him. I know it. Despite knowing this, I still wonder when the going gets tough if He is still there.


He is.


I can look back on every single trial in my life and see that God's gotten me through each of them. In the deepest, darkest, blackest pit of sadness, depression, anxiety, and uncertainty...I've always come out of it. Better. When I think there's no way I'm coming out of it this time, I do. I don't realize it until the smoke is cleared and my eyes are wide open. What a great feeling that is though, to look back on life and see just where God has been. That's the part that always astounds me...to see God's presence, to literally see it with your own eyes.


If we just surrender sometimes and let God do His thing, He can bring us to places we never thought possible.


Do you have a specific time in your life where you let God do His thing and now looking back, you can see just what He orchestrated?

I Love This Girl

My sweet Piper Annabelle and I are back from our nearly week long trip in Charlotte. We're reunited (after over two weeks apart) and it feels so good.

I'm excited to have her here with me in DC and to show her around this city I love so much. 

Our new home.

As Kate pointed out, this will be her fourth state in her two years of existence.

(TX, FL, NC, VA)

Quite the traveler.

Defending Our Dear Emily

After watching Monday nights episode of The Bachelorette, I scoured the internet for more dirty details on the whole Arie/Producer scandal. Pretty shocking right? Then again, nothing men ever do surprises me. Can't wait for next week.

Anyway, I came across this article where some idiot commented she was a "glorified race car groupie."

Seriously ticked me off. Here's why.

First, Emily has a love for racing. There's nothing wrong with that. She's a gorgeous girl, intelligent, and attractive. If she hangs around the racing community, she's bound to get noticed and drivers/owners/etc. are sure to take interest. I don't know her, but I'm sure she feels "at home" with this crowd. It has nothing to do with being a groupie or chasing this kind of life.

I grew up around racing in Florida (a little known fact) and spent many, many years following the local circuit as well as NASCAR. I loved it. I loved the people. I loved the community. I loved the atmosphere. I have SO many memories as a child at the track, some of the fondest I can remember. I can understand her love for it.

For me, I feel the same towards the military community. I am NOT a uniform chaser. The very notion of being with someone again who is in uniform terrifies me. To the point of massive anxiety whenever I meet someone AD or HD who is showing interest in me. Seriously. However, I find that with what I went through with M, others outside that community can't relate. I find comfort in being among those who get it. I need that. With what Emily went through losing Ricky, I'm sure she finds comfort being surrounded by those in the racing industry. It brings back good, happy memories. Anytime you experience tragedy or loss, it changes you forever and being around that which brings you back to happier times, brings peace to your soul.

Just setting that record straight.

Familiar But Far

For two weeks, I worked on a project for a client handing out samples on local military bases in the DC/VA/MD area. When the opportunity presented itself, I was completely stoked. I was LOVING the idea of being back within the military community...literally. I spent time at Andrews AFB, Fort Meade, Fort Myer, and Fort Belvoir, home to service men and women from all branches of the US military. I caught myself in "moments," where I reflected back on my marriage and everything I felt being married to someone in uniform. At times, it was pretty overwhelming.

How that embrace we shared at the airport when he came home for R&R overwhelmed me with emotion. It made me remember how his uniform felt, pressed against my skin. Hearing that velcro, all the time. That feeling every single day when he walked through the doors from work. Driving through the gates of Fort Hood and everything just feeling different. Visiting Battalion HQ and spending time with him and his SGT. The memory of his diagnosis. Seeing him weak in his hospital bed. Praying like hell this would strengthen our marriage and pull us back from the fire we were in.

And for the first time since it happened, it made me think about the day we went to legal, signed our divorce papers, and both could oddly do nothing but smile. It was laughter and smile instead of tears. Sickening to say and to think about, but it's the truth. Giving up on marriage is the most empty feeling in the world. It was at least for me.

I feel like when I meet someone else in the military (which I do often in this area) I have to jump to tell them why we divorced. I wasn't a "cliche" military wife, cheating on her husband, as I'm so sure they often think of first. The military cheated my husband and I. The war disintegrated him before my very eyes. Literally. Into a man who at 25 walked with a cane and had the body of someone 3 times his age. Despite what some would like to believe, this was painful for me. Really, really painful. It made the decision to leave 1,000 times harder and until you've walked that path...you have no idea. NONE.

I remember talking to my therapist in Charlotte and asking her if this feeling would ever go away. If this feeling of sadness, grief, and loss over my marriage would disappear. She said in time it would. It's been 15 months now and it still hurts like hell. I feel like my husband was taken from me. Stolen. I still loved him, but he was gone. There was nothing I could do to get him back. That's something I still have a hard time processing. I didn't really want a divorce, I just had no other options anymore.

All of this happened to me at 25 years old. I was so young. It was only two years ago when all of this started. It feels like an eternity and yet still fresh. At my age, friends are on their first marriage while I'm reeling from the end of my first. The military factor makes me even more isolated. I'm different now. I'm not the girl I was. I'm learning that very quickly. I don't take life for granted. I appreciate the little things all the more. I don't complain about much. Being with someone in the military teaches you all of that too. I can't identify with a lot of people my age. I cling to those who are young and divorced like me. We have matching battle scars. We can compare wounds.

I long for the day I can be in a loving, supportive, happy, trustworthy, enduring relationship...with someone who gets me. Until then, I continue to reflect, feel, and know I'm not alone.

To all of you bloggie girls who are divorcing, making the choice to leave, or have been divorced...this one is for you. Thank you for being so vocal and supportive.

Tunesday

I'm damn proud of myself y'all.

I don't take time enough to pat myself on the back, but seriously. I'm a tough chick.

It hasn't been easy, but I'm thankful to all of you lovelies who remind me of this with your comments and sweet e-mails of inspiration.

For today, I thought I'd share a song I love by the amazing Whitney Houston.

Die Like A Hero

"Live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about his religion. Respect others in their views and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life. Beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and of service to your people. When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home." 

-Act of Valor-

Koozie Love

No, they are not called "Cozies." They are also not called "Huggies," those are babies diapers. Where I come from, that delightful insulated fabric that's wrapped around your favorite cold, adult beverage is a Koozie. I can't live without them. My Lilly Pulitzer ones are naturally my favorite. My Gators, a very close second.

This is for real. I have one in my center console, my purse, and my glove box at all times. Why? I have no idea. I guess it's a Southern thing.

Here are some adorable Koozies I'd love to add to my collection.

The Red Solo Cup Koozie ~ This is just plain epic.

$9 {here}

Monogrammed Koozie ~ Presh.

$10 {here}

Woozie Koozie ~ Wine Koozies? Shut your face!

$10 {here}

Gator Monogrammed Koozie ~ Shamed to say I had this and lost it :(

$12 {here}

Burlap Monogram Koozie ~ Ashton, I will be showing up to your wedding with this in hand!

$8 {here}

'Merica Koozie ~ What else is there to say?

$5 {here}

And just in case you want to keep things ultra classy, how about the "Koozie Pocket Shirt?" 

Yep. It's for real.

{here}

A Lesson for the Boys...with Girls

I may be dumb at dating, but one thing I'm not dumb at is understanding guys. For the most part. They continue to surprise and amaze, like this little sitch I am going to share with you all.

We all know there are blind girls. Dumb girls. The ones who will put up with just about anything from a guy, just because. Don't worry, I was once one of them not so long ago. Some girls set their sights on someone, whether he's good for them or not, and lose sight of all reason. Some of these girls knowingly involve themselves with someone who is already committed, which I find to be the worst type of offense.

Then, there are girls like me, who after having learned a lesson of that sorts in a past life, can see a train wreck/dirtbag from a mile away and realize it's not worth the dignity lost being involved in something so messy.

BOYS: It is not cool or attractive to us if you have a girlfriend and you're telling us how badly you wanted to bang our brains out when you had "the chance." First, you didn't have a chance, never did, and clearly never will. Second, if you wanted any chance at a relationship with us, you sure as heck aren't going to get one. What girl wants to be with a guy who is basically verbally cheating on his current girlfriend? So we can be the next? Yeah right dude. There is nothing less attractive than this and it continues to amaze me how often guys conduct themselves this way. My ex did it behind my back to goodness knows how many girls. It's vile. It's disgusting. It's wrong. It's sad to think about the poor, innocent girlfriend on the other end who is completely clueless to what her beloved boyfriend is doing behind her back. I always feel crazy sorry for them, believing their guys are awesome when in fact they are just dirty skeezers.

If you're going to be in a relationship, you need to be ALL IN. There is no kinda sorta or halfway or with her but with someone else too. Gross. The sooner you learn this lesson the better.

If only I had realized this last summer. Oy.

Like I said, guys aren't completely to blame here as I know a few girls (*Cough Cough* Trapper Keeper *Cough Cough*) who will do whatever they can to finagle a guy away from his current girlfriend. They know how to play the game and play it well. For girls with class, self respect, and dignity...that's not our style. For the guys that fall for it, you're dumb. Just plain dumb. Even dumber when your current girlfriend WARNS you about the possibility of your ex girlfriends antics and yet you STILL fall for her tricks. You are gross and you look like a dumbass.

No, I'm not bitter. Not bitter at all.

Okay but seriously, if you've got a girl...be good to her. Breakup with her if you're feeling like things are blah. For the love of pete and all things holy, save yourself a little bit of dignity and save your skeezing for when you're single.

Princess Envy

For this week's Friday Fancies, I chose my outfit crush to be based on Kate Middleton's gorgeous, Alexander McQueen number she wore to the Queen's Jubilee service. You can read all about it here and check out where you can get your copycat. I scoured the internet in hopes of finding the real deal, but later learned it was custom, so no such luck. The life of a princess. None the less, I am a huge lover of lace in black, nude, and white. It is so feminine, so classy, and so timeless.

Enjoy my outfit crush and don't forget to link up with {av} at Long Distance Loving!

Kate Middleton's Diamond Jubilee Envy by shanstinson featuring pearl earrings

Stella McCartney one shoulder sleeve dress
£2,345 - net-a-porter.com

Brian Atwood high heel pumps
$605 - net-a-porter.com

Valentino clutch handbag
£520 - net-a-porter.com

Forzieri pearl earrings
$1,194 - forzieri.com

Fascinator hat
$90 - coast-stores.com

I Need A Doctor

A Dating Doctor that is.


Seriously y'all, I'm not good at this dating thing. I have NO clue what I'm doing.


I've talked about it before, but I was SO STOKED when I got married to know I'd never have to deal with it. Never say never. 


I was asked out by two guys in the week since I've set foot in this city. Neither was I really interested in, but no matter. I am defunct at dating.


Here's the thing, I was explaining to my former roomie Jenny, that 95% of the time I've been friends with a guy before it turned into a romance. I prefer it that way, but I'm learning that at 27, it just doesn't work like that. Boo.


For example, since Guy "B" was the only one I'd even consider hanging out with...I'm not interested in "dating" him. I won't even disclose what he does for a living because all of you guys would roll your eyes and understand. Anyway, I'd love to be friends with him, but how do you respond when a guy asks you out for a drink without it being a date? Clearly, he's got other things in mind besides just hanging as friends. This is where it gets maddening to me. Why can't we be friends!?!? Why, if I agree to a drink, does it automatically mean potential? HELP!?!?!?!? I don't want to agree to a drink with anyone, if I'm not into them, and lead them to believe I accepted the invite because I am into them! Am I not the only girl out there that thinks this is crazy?


Jenny looked at me dumbfounded as I introduced the notion of "group dating." Is that like high school or what? I mean, I would much rather hang with a group right now, than go one on one dates with people. It seriously frightens the bejesus out of me y'all. What the heckers do I do? I know part of me will never "get out there" if I don't just go for it, but my convictions also tell me to handle things a certain way to guard my heart and protect myself. 


Am I just not ready or am I just a big scaredy cat? Is it crazy talk to be friends with someone first at my age?


VH1/Tough Love...if you're out there, I'm your girl.

Wednesday Wants

The problem with going from totally brokezo to having money again, is that your list of needs wants is a mile long! Here are some of the things I'm pining over at the moment.

Tory Burch Tumbled Leather Thora Sandal

$115 {here}

Madison Leather Abigail Shoulder Bag by Coach

$398 {here}

A new laptop. If you guys saw the one I'm using now, you'd die of embarrassment just like I do every time I whip this bad boy out. I have to plug in a massive keyboard to even type anything. It's a disaster.

Popeye Sailor Studs from Bauble Bar

$24 {here}

Turban Headbands from Etsy shop ThreeBirdNest

$24.50 {here}

Bohemian Romance Necklace from Spool No. 72

$48 {here}

Everything Changes

I seriously have that 80's Kathy Troccoli song stuck in my head writing this blog entry.

Honestly, I got some of THE WORST news ever about 24 hours after I moved here. Okay, maybe not the worst news EVER but bad enough to send me in a frenzied tailspin. None the less, I recovered and I'm thankful that everything changes.

It's one of those things. When you get where you're supposed to be, things aren't really a struggle anymore. I'm constantly knocking on wood saying this stuff, and not that things are super easy or perfect, but it's just funny how things have been falling into place.

I found a place to live RIGHT across from a Metro stop which allows me to have Piper with no issue. It's certainly not out of the pages of Southern Living, but it will do. It's a sacrifice I'm making for a few months until I get settled and can hopefully move in with Jenny. It's a room, I'm thankful for it, and I don't think it's going to be that bad. Plus, living right across the street from the Metro is going to be AWESOME for the summer.

I've been asked out by two guys in one week. More on this later, but this is beyond crazy to me. I have been working 7 days a week, so it's not like I've been doing the clubbing/going out thing. Not that I'd go out with either, but it's pretty funny to me.

So yeah, I've been working pretty much 7 days a week. I'm thankful that the events keep rolling in and I'm staying super busy. I'm exhausted, barely have enough time to breathe, but I'm so happy I'm not struggling in that area at the moment.

I'm happy.

Someone pinch me.

The Loved & Lost Debate

{Source}

We've all heard it. It's made us think a million times over. After every breakup, every pint devoured of Ben & Jerry's. We wonder.

Is it really better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all?

Absolutely.

Looking back on my very first boyfriend in high school (which ended up being 3.5 years of my life) to where I am now, I can only imagine who I'd be had I never loved. Despite the moments when I felt it was impossible to move forward, it was all completely worth it.

Every relationship we have brings us clarity and defines what it is we're really looking for. I feel blessed to be 1000% certain what I want and what I need from someone of the opposite sex. That comes from all of the lessons learned in the guys I've dated and my marriage. Each one taught me something.

High school boyfriend - Taught me what codependency was, that I didn't deserve to be with someone who was violent, and that life goes on, even after he sleeps with your best friend.

Baseball Coach boyfriend - Taught me I needed to be with someone who had some aspirations in life, whose car wasn't falling apart, and wasn't a virgin at 20.

FWB Actor Boy - Taught me that having someone in your life no strings, to share your life with, who complemented you in the stage of life you were in...was just plain awesome. In a seriously odd way, this was one of the best relationships I had. Go figure.

Anonymous Older Guy - Umm...this taught me a lot. More than I'm wanting to share. It taught me to never say never. It taught me when you're far from God, you make HUGE mistakes. It taught me that the grass isn't greener. It opened my eyes to the complications of marriage. It taught me that money really doesn't buy happiness. It taught me that you should really think twice about all you can lose by making bad decisions.

My Ex Husband - What didn't this teach me? It helped me find my passion in life. It taught me that I can be put through the ringer and still walk out in one piece, stronger than before.

Romeo - I learned about real love from him. The true meaning of forgiveness. What family is all about. I opened my heart in a way that is still unreal to me. I know how capable I am of loving unconditionally. Our relationship taught me to not give up on someone or something you believe in. I learned the power of unrelenting prayer. It also taught me that sometimes what we think is best for us, really isn't at all. There's a reason why this relationship left such an impact on my life. By far, the one that has changed me the most.

Romeo's Best Friend - Oh yeah. I sorta haven't mentioned much about that. It was years ago. After he left me for the Gators. We cleared it with him first, but none the less...it was probably a mistake. We were together for a year and it was great. I learned a lot from this too. For one, dating your exes best friend is probably never worth it. It made me realize that you have to be careful who you confide in. If you cry on the shoulder of your exes best friend, something is bound to happen. It also made me realize how amazing people can be. His family was awesome to me, opening their homes when I was going through a rough time. He's the one ex I can look back on and be crazy happy for him that he's in a new relationship. Ours ran its course, served its purpose, and that was the end.

A reason, a purpose, a lesson...from everything.

I fully believe that for every ending, there is a beginning. Every relationship that ends, brings me closer to the one that won't.

Summer Shades

For this weeks Friday Fancies, the challenge was to incorporate shorts into our ensemble. I'm a good old fashioned, ripped up, All American jean shorts girl. This would be the perfect outfit for a day shopping along the beach or for me here in DC in the lawn by the monument. What do y'all think?

Summer Shades by shanstinson featuring aviator shades

H M racerback shirt
£13 - hm.com

Rockstar Sushi cutoff shorts
£106 - farfetch.com

Tory Burch beach sandals
$195 - bloomingdales.com

Quiksilver travel tote bag
$50 - quiksilver.com

Oakley aviator shades
$150 - nordstrom.com

This Is How I Know

It hasn't quite sunk in that I'm back in DC again. It's been one crazy whirlwind since getting here on Sunday night.

Monday was my "shove everything I own into a 5x5 storage unit" day. Mission accomplished.

Tues-Sunday of this week I am working various events and promotions.

Next Monday, I have an interview at a golf course (*fingers crossed for a cart girl job*)

-and-

I'm moving into my new place.

Tues-Friday of next week, I'm working my last leg of base/post events for Gold Bond.

Somewhere in that mix, I plan on heading to 15th and Madison, to set my eyes on that place I love so much. Once I set foot in the city, it will all sink in. I'll finally know I'm here and hopefully here to stay.

One thing I do know, is all that "junk" I left in the past, in Orlando, is no longer a factor in my life. It's amazing how that happens. There's just something about being home that doesn't sit well with my soul and my ability to move on. Once I leave and am in DC, all is right with the world and I realize how truly insignificant that relationship/situation was. 

I love that.

None the less, here are some pictures from my journey through Charlotte and the friends I got to see on my little overnight pit stop. I have missed them like CrAzY and I was so glad I got to see them for a bit.

Larrielle & Pipes

My friend Andy & I and our pups

Ashton's Leo (L) and Conan (R)

My Beach House

Okay, tricked ya. I don't have a beach house, but if I did...it would look something like this.