Okay. So, I know post-separation and divorce I blogged about the woes of the notion of dating. Clearly, I'm not ready. I've been single for a whole four weeks and just got out of a real doozy of a relationship. Secondly, I'm sure as HELL (yes, I said it) not going to date anyone here for numerous reasons. One being the guy will probably be the best friend of the cousin of my ex boyfriends current girlfriend. Seriously. So, what does a newly single girl do with her free week night when she has to be up uber early in the AM and wants a good laugh?
Oh yeah folks, I went there again and hilarity surely ensued.
First, if you are a dude and your main profile picture is of you standing in front of your mirror with your camera phone, that tells me you have no life.
Not into greased up body builder Arnold Schwarzanegger from the 80's wanna be's. Puke.
If your screen name suggests you are a reformed Donald Draper, I'll be sure to cover myself in condoms, diaphragms, and plastic wrap before I come anywhere near you. You basically just told me you have every disease in the book, you've slept with your secretaries, cheated on your wife, and count your "lays" by the bakers dozen.
If your ideal first date is to a fashion show, I'm going to question your sexuality.
Wearing a lighted helmet AND taking a picture in the mirror with your camera phone? Seriously?
DC, I had so much more faith in you. Either I need to give up all hope and join the convent or I need to open up a consulting business on how to properly set-up your Match profiles.
In better news, I did find my future husband who is a doctor and takes care of sick children in Africa. No joke.
But in all seriousness, I have NO CLUE when I will be ready again and I'm totally fine with that. By the time I get back to DC, I'll have been single for many more months. I'll be living the life back where my heart belongs and enjoying all the freedoms I have around me. Not worrying about a relationship. Will I be out there? Yeah. Absolutely. For once in my life I am going to surely put myself out there. It's freaking downright scary but also a super exciting thought. I think I'm just most excited about finding someone who has NO TIES to back home. I love that.