It's completely unreal to me that it's been two years since I made the decision to leave my husband.
It feels like it's been so much longer and it's strange.
I feel like I've finally gone over that hump.
The hump of knowing how long it's been, it feeling longer, yet not at the same time.
That's how it was for quite a while.
I've changed SO MUCH in the past couple years.
I've gone through some of the most trying, difficult experiences of my life.
All in the past 2-3 years.
Now, I'm back in a place I had always dreamed of being, even before I left.
Every single day I wake up completely grateful, even if it's not all perfect.
I've spoken from my heart before about making the decision to leave my husband, and I know it's had a lot of impact on other women stumbling upon my blog in a similar situation.
It was heartbreaking, gut wrenching, and without a doubt, the hardest decision I've ever had to make.
I hope I never have to make one like that again.
With the good and the bad, it's made me grow.
Even just opening my heart up a teensy, tiny bit in order to start dating has helped me immensely.
I think it's made all the difference in reminding me what is possible and that your past doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your future.
In my group meeting last Sunday, a member was lost and struggling with who she was.
She was in a relationship with a NPD and her life became her partner.
I could totally relate to what she was saying.
I reminded her, that even if she just woke up and said to herself, "I have been through SO MUCH and I'm still standing," that's a positive step in the right direction.
I reminded her she needed to be proud of herself for standing strong, making a really tough decision, and just plain surviving.
At Bible study Thursday night, we were given tags in which we were to describe some of the emotions we have felt or are currently feeling after moving in and starting the process of moving on.
While it's true I'm not where I thought I would be, God has me in this place, in this time for a reason.
He's polishing me and molding me.
From a hard, dark piece of coal into a beautiful diamond.
In the process of writing this entry and sitting on it overnight, I realized it's also been one year since I left Charlotte with an excited, full heart to pursue a relationship back home.
Amazing how certain things in life line up with one another on the calendar.
While that didn't end as I had hoped, it ended just how God wanted it to.
How He knew I needed it to.
I'm looking forward to where God is going to take me in the next 2 years.