Seriously y'all, I'm not good at this dating thing. I have NO clue what I'm doing.
I've talked about it before, but I was SO STOKED when I got married to know I'd never have to deal with it. Never say never.
I was asked out by two guys in the week since I've set foot in this city. Neither was I really interested in, but no matter. I am defunct at dating.
Here's the thing, I was explaining to my former roomie Jenny, that 95% of the time I've been friends with a guy before it turned into a romance. I prefer it that way, but I'm learning that at 27, it just doesn't work like that. Boo.
For example, since Guy "B" was the only one I'd even consider hanging out with...I'm not interested in "dating" him. I won't even disclose what he does for a living because all of you guys would roll your eyes and understand. Anyway, I'd love to be friends with him, but how do you respond when a guy asks you out for a drink without it being a date? Clearly, he's got other things in mind besides just hanging as friends. This is where it gets maddening to me. Why can't we be friends!?!? Why, if I agree to a drink, does it automatically mean potential? HELP!?!?!?!? I don't want to agree to a drink with anyone, if I'm not into them, and lead them to believe I accepted the invite because I am into them! Am I not the only girl out there that thinks this is crazy?
Jenny looked at me dumbfounded as I introduced the notion of "group dating." Is that like high school or what? I mean, I would much rather hang with a group right now, than go one on one dates with people. It seriously frightens the bejesus out of me y'all. What the heckers do I do? I know part of me will never "get out there" if I don't just go for it, but my convictions also tell me to handle things a certain way to guard my heart and protect myself.
Am I just not ready or am I just a big scaredy cat? Is it crazy talk to be friends with someone first at my age?
VH1/Tough Love...if you're out there, I'm your girl.
So glad I found your blog! When I got married, I was also excited about never having to date again. That also did not work out for me so I am right back in the same boat as you and I can't tell you how awesome it is to know someone can relate! I'm still pretty apprehensive about dating since I want to guard my heart. However, like you said... I guess we do have to get out there somehow!!
ReplyDeleteIt is absolutely not crazy to be friends with a guy first! That might be the best way to figure out if the guy's what you want. Unfortunately, it's not always going to be possible - and you should never pass up something good because the circumstances weren't ideal. But it's in no way crazy to want that.
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your blog for a while. It has been great hearing your story, and I wish you all the luck in DC. It's definitely quite a place!
I wonder if they have something like Grouper, the same way they do in NYC...Group dates galore :)
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