One thing bothering me lately, is how people are so quick to judge other people's circumstances. I'm not saying I have never, but I try to be so careful about judging others relationships, choices, etc.
For one, nobody needs to tell me what I SHOULD be doing. Where I SHOULD be right now. What I SHOULD have done. Including me.
I spent 4 hours at my college the other day as I am enrolling back in school to finish my A.S. in January. I ended up in a mental health counselor's office for over an hour crying my eyes out in frustration and exhaustion. This week has been a tough one, for reasons I don't feel like explaining right now. This counselor told me I needed to stop "Shoulding on myself." Pretty interesting concept. Who says I should have my degree by now? Who says I should be making $45,000 a year? Who says I should be over my miscarriage by now? Who makes these rules? Where is the grand book that says I should? Furthermore, nobody else should be shoulding on me either.
I am honestly sick and tired of people not understanding my miscarriage still hurts. Naturally, the people making the ugly comments are people who have never had a miscarriage themselves or been a part of that loss. "Hurry up and get over it why don't you. It's been almost 2 years now. I mean really Shannon?" Excuse me, but losing my baby was the most traumatic thing I have ever experienced both physically and emotionally. Do people understand what it's like to be elated with your pregnancy, feeling your baby is safe inside of you, only to watch your body bleed massively and reject your baby knowing there is absolutely nothing you can do to save it? REALLY? Excuse me for not being over it already.
I will never be over it. I will carry it with me forever. The pain has lessened gradually, but there are still days I cry or wish it would have never happened. If people can't deal with that, they don't need to be a part of my life. Plain and simple. I need people around me who may not fully understand, but who accept, love, and support.
And don't try to tell me how miserable my life would be right now if I had my baby. HOW THE EFF DO YOU KNOW? Would it be desirable to be a single parent? Nope. Do people do it all the time and make it work? Yep. So, don't tell me you know what's best for me.
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." ~ Matthew 11:28-29
You know, I have to say...I'm a pretty confident person. I don't have self esteem issues, I know my self-worth, and I know what I deserve. If someone I'm with isn't going to realize that and doesn't appreciate me, I don't need them in my life. I say this, because I am not someone who is easily jealous. I don't feel the desire to go through call histories, ask who is calling, and know every detail of what's going on at all times. Perhaps that will someday bite me, but for now...it is what it is.
BUT...
One thing that is super exhausting is something I call "The Ex Factor." This translates to someone talking about a certain kitchen device and the person you are dating saying "Oh yea, I got that for my ex (insert name here)." Happy to know. I mention I drink more than my guy, but don't get drunk or anything and someone from the family goes "Hopefully not as bad as (insert SAME exes name here)?" Thanks for that. Finally, guy I'm seeing has a medical issue and someone chimes in, "Well remember when (INSERT SAME EXES NAME HERE) used to sprinkle that stuff on your food to help you?" A R E Y O U K I D D I N G M E?????????????
Is it wrong for me to be entirely exhausted by all of this? This was just in one day, in a matter of a few hours. Is it really necessary to bring up an ex girlfriend THREE EFFING TIMES IN ONE DAY? Granted, only one of those times was guys fault, but I'm literally to the point I can't take it anymore. An ex is an ex for a reason. They are gone (or should be) out of your life and not a part of your current relationship. We all have pasts, we all aren't stupid, but I'm a huge believer in not letting the past affect your future. Easier said than done sometimes, but in this situation, it happens more often than it should. I am just in a place in my life where I'm not interested in being in a relationship that isn't 1000% good for me in every way. Not perfect, but positive and forward progressing.
I didn't mention anything to guy because the last thing we needed at that present time was another argument (we had just come off a big heater). So here I am, venting on my blog and wondering what the hell to do about the sitch. Maybe it's not a big deal. Maybe it is. HELP!!!???
I hope all of you are counting your many blessings, giving thanks for those around you, and praying for those who need encouragement. For those who are away from family and friends due to deployment, my thoughts and prayers are with you today and everyday.
Today is a Thursday, which also means it's time to pick a song for Goodnight Moon's link-up. I stumbled across something beautiful from Josh Groban below.
I have new mixed feelings about this day. As many of you know, in 2010 when I found out I was pregnant, Thanksgiving Day was my due date. On that day last year, my cousin and his wife announced their pregnancy with their second child. It was traumatic. This year, I should be celebrating a one year old birthday. Sometimes, I'd give anything to turn back the hands of time and create a different outcome. Unfortunately, it's out of my hands and in God's. All I can do is pray, give God the desires of my heart, and hope He someday answers.
This year, I'll be sharing the holiday with Romeo's dad and girlfriend, sister and FH, and their family and friends.
It wouldn't be proper without sharing a few things I'm thankful for, so check out my V-Blog!
Somedays, we forget to look around us, Somedays, we can't see the joy that surrounds us, so caught up inside ourselves, we take when we should give, so for tonight we pray for, what we know can be, and on this day we hope for, what we still can't see, It's up to us, to be the change, and even though we all can still do more, there's so much to be thankful for, look beyond ourselves, there's so much sorrow, it's way to late to say, I'll cry tomorrow each of us must find our truth, it's so long overdue,
so for tonight we pray for, what we know can be, and everyday, we hope for, what we still can't see, it's up to us, to be the change, and even though we all can still do more, there's so much to be thankful for, even with our differences, there is a place were all connected, each of us can find each others light, So for tonight, we pray for what we know can be, and on this day, we hope for, what we still can't see, it's up to us, to be the change, and even though this world can still do so much more there's so much to be thankful for.
Honestly, not a lot has changed. I'm still searching for a job which is miserably frustrating. I knew this was ahead of me when coming to Orlando and all I can say is I am so thankful God has enabled me to somehow stay afloat. I do not use credit cards, so I've managed to keep it together while being basically unemployed for the past almost 2 months. Granted, for the first 2 weeks, I was still working from home for my old company and they have since asked me to help out here and there. Thankful for that. I also worked at the IAAPA convention last week which was such a blessing. I've been applying for jobs in Orlando for almost 3 months now, with not as much as one single phone call or email response back. It's crazy. I'm either not qualified enough or over qualified. I have LOTS of business and office experience, yet can't even get a simple secretary or receptionist position because they've "decided to pursue other candidates." Interesting. Tonight, I did receive a break after learning the secretary at a friends' law firm gave her notice. It would be somewhat of a commute for me, but working for his firm would prove to be a great experience for me, could open more doors, and would be amazingly secure. ((SAY PRAYERS PLEASE!!!)) I am turning my focus to law and plan on changing my major (for the 15th time) to Paralegal. I'd have all next year in school and be done and could always finish my A.S. in Business later. Having a Paralegal degree is not a requirement, but gives me a competitive advantage over others who may have some to no prior law experience. Not to mention, it lends itself to a pretty favorable salary for having a minor degree.
Romeo and I are doing great. We've pretty well settled into sharing day to day life together, though every day is an opportunity to learn something new. I still have personal fears to overcome and I'm hoping with time and my therapists help, those will be eradicated eventually. We still have a few hurdles to clear, but there is nothing I can do to clear them. Some big changes are up ahead, which I learned about tonight, and I'm super anxious and nervous about them. I won't talk about them yet and probably not for many months to come, but whatever the outcome, I pray it's what Romeo needs and is a step in the right direction.
Thursday is Thanksgiving, which was also my due date with Baby P. It will be a tough day, but I have decided to celebrate Baby P's "Heaven Day" as opposed to their expected due date. I have full faith my little one went to be with Jesus when he or she left my body. It is painful, more than one can imagine, but it is also to be celebrated. I will do something on Thanksgiving to remember the baby and anyone with ideas, please pass them along.
I mustered the courage to write Romeo a letter explaining all of the above about losing the baby. He obviously wasn't in my life while I was married and experiencing all of that pain and had never experienced something like that before. So, one night I stayed up until 2:30 writing a 4 page letter conveying what a hole in my heart it has left and precisely why. It was also brought to my attention by both my mom and my dad's wife that I frequently left the door open for DC when speaking to Romeo. I did this mainly out of fear and uncertainty but realized it wasn't fair of me to expect him to commit to me when I wasn't showing commitment on my end. So, I included several paragraphs about my fears, my feelings, and that if he wanted me, I'd be there. I'd make the sacrifice because I love him that much. Scary, but true and hopefully worth the risk.
Anyway, I am off to finish watching the GOP debate and hit the sack. Thanks for listening!
Okay, so this is one of those blog entries of mine that requires a disclaimer and a reminder...that this is my blog and my beliefs on life. You don't have to agree, but you don't need to get offended or feel the need to go bananas on me. Thanks ;-)
So for a few weeks now, I've been pondering addressing this topic on my blog. Then, an article popped up on The Today Show about a woman who lost her $10,000 engagement ring and her fiancee went through hell and high water to find it...and did. Awesome story, yet people had to leave absurd and offensive comments about the cost of her ring and how outrageous it was. My mouth kinda dropped.
First, there have been and will be many, many more rings costing quite a bit more than $10,000 bought in this world. Personally, I thought it was an about average price, give or take. Second, who are you to make comments on how little or how much someone chooses to spend on THEIR engagement ring? It's not yours. To me, it was envy from those who weren't in a position to receive a ring costing that much. Kinda sad, but I realize that green bug of envy bites us all at times. None the less, the cost of the ring was pulling people away from the meaning of the story. How horrible that she lost the ring in the first place (I would be DEVASTATED) and how romantic that he searched high and low and found it for her. Plain and simple, an awesome, loving story.
So, how is this blog entry supposed to get your panties in a wad? Here ya go...
It's no secret weddings, rings, and everything in between have been a big deal in my life for as long as I can remember. I was that girl with the bridal magazines and The Knot account in middle school. I was picking out my china and bridesmaids dresses in high school. Seriously. I know. It's no surprise when I got older, I wanted to plan weddings and events, so I did for 3 years. When I got married, I had no pomp and circumstance, no dream ring (or even close), or anything resembling what I had dreamed of. Except perhaps the man I thought I'd be spending forever with. So, even with (or without) all of that my feelings have probably gotten worse and my inner bridezilla is bound to rear it's ugly head on the next love of my life. Heaven help him.
One of the things I'm most passionate about are engagement rings. I mean like seriously passionate. I am not a jewelry kinda gal. I don't wear earrings everyday and don't really own expensive pieces of jewelry. I don't believe in wearing more than one ring at a time, a tennis bracelet isn't really my thing, and I'm not even huge on watches. So naturally, I put a TON of weight on an engagement ring. For me, I will wear it everyday of my life for all eternity. I know some people eventually take it off and just wear their band, not me. I do not want an anniversary ring in 10, 20, or 30 years. I want my one ring forever. I do not want an upgrade. The ring put on my finger during a proposal and our vows, is the one I want for good.
To me, it's an investment. A multi-faceted and complex one. If a man proposed to you with a $25 ring from the flea market, he wouldn't be out much if he decided he changed his mind. To me, it also doesn't seem like he gave it much thought either. (No offense to anyone who prefers that method) Deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone is a huge decision and in turn, the method of committing to that with a diamond can be pretty costly too. Now before people start thinking I equate love with money, I do not. I realize someone can spend 2 million on a ring and be divorced in a matter of weeks. I also realize a $500 ring can be just as beautiful and hold as much meaning as a $50,000 one. BUT...I am old fashioned and also feel that an engagement ring is a symbol of stature and dedication. For me, when I look down at my hand (well, not currently) I want to see something that I know my fiancee worked his butt off to pay for. I want to see it on my hand everyday and go "Wow. He worked so hard to give this to me. I am SO lucky." On the flip, I don't want to be in debt for the next 10 years over it either. I would much rather wait a few years to be engaged and get the ring of my dreams, then settle for something that's really not me.
I know some of the things I've said are probably shocking. Believe me, I had this debate time and time again with my ex husband and his buddies who thought I was ridiculous. Yes, I have expensive taste. I know. I'm spoiled. I'll admit that too. For me, it's the one thing in life I want to be a stinker about. Cars? Meh. House? I can deal if I have to. My ring, no question. Again, I'm someone who wants the one ring and only that ring forever.
I totally understand not everyone has the same sentiments as I in regards to engagement rings. For some, it's merely another piece of jewelry. Just like some people would rather save the money spent on a lavish wedding for a down payment on a home. Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong. What I can't stand is people who judge other people for spending X amount on a ring of their choice. If one of my friends were engaged with a $25 flea market ring and she was absolutely in love with it, I'd be happy for her. If another friend got some whopping $50,000 engagement ring, I might be a tinge jealous but I certainly wouldn't question why her fiancee decided to spend that much. That's HIS decision.
I know when my time comes, I'll be happy with what my fiancee decides. For one, I know he will know me inside and out and he'll know what my engagement ring will mean to me. For everyone else, as long as YOU are happy, that is all that matters.
Next week, Romeo's sister moves to the ATL. Tragic. My sister from another Mr. will be MIA. Right after I move back home, she's gone. I do have to say, she was able to extend her stay a few extra weeks which provided us some good bonding time :)
Anyway, this past weekend was her farewell party and luncheon with family and friends. On Saturday night, our old crew got together at a chocolate factory called Farris & Fosters. You can make your own chocolates for around $20/lb. They provide all the fixins like strawberries, sprinkles, coconut, truffle shells and fillings, pretzels, cookies, nuts, and more. It's always a blast. Then on Sunday, the family and close friends got together at Buca di Beppo for an amazingly yummy lunch. We were STUFFED. Here are some pictures from the fabulous weekend.
Today is the day to honor all of those who have served our great nation. To those who take a vow to fight and defend. To face enemies foreign and domestic. Those who make this world a better, safer place.
I am thankful for my ex husbands sacrifice, both grandfathers, Romeo's dad, my countless friends who are currently serving, and all the others who have stepped up and done what few can do. Today is your day. Thank you for all you've done and continue to do.
Thank you to the families who also stand by and sacrifice as well. When someone answers the call, their family does as well. It's tough and shouldn't go unnoticed.
In my family, we have a tradition. It started when we were young and we'd all get together (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) and head to Toys 'R Us where we'd show our grandma everything we wanted for Christmas. Seriously, some of the greatest memories ever. My grandma, pen in hand, would run after us as we ran all over the store drooling over the latest Barbie's and board games. Obviously, this stopped once we got to the pre-teen years and regular old list exchanges ensued. Each year, we gather for some sort of brunch or dinner, exchange wish lists, and receive very generous checks from our grandmother. Christmas is HUGE in my family and I love it that way.
((And yes, I know Christmas isn't about gifts))
Anyway, we got together a couple days ago and did our exchange. This year, my grandma's wish was for us to all get together and go to Magic Kingdom. YIPPIE!!! You don't have to ask me twice to go to Disney. I love it! So, in addition to our awesome checks, she gave both Romeo and I gift cards to cover the cost of our Disney tickets. So nice! It was super nice of her to include Romeo and I can't wait for us all to spend time together as a family at Disney.
Now...for the list.
Disclaimer. No. I do not want or expect to get everything on my list. I like LOVE to be surprised. I normally get one big thing from my grandma and one big thing from my dad. Now, Romeo is in the picture, so I have to give lots of various options. Don't think I'm a snooty, greedy girl when I reveal some of my wishes. After all, they are just wishes :)
I've wanted this necklace since FOREVER. Swarovski Alana Heart Pendant
From a snowy, small town in northern Michigan to the mountains of Afghanistan, Where Soldiers Come From follows the four-year journey of childhood friends who join the National Guard after graduating from high school. As it chronicles the young men’s transformation from restless teenagers to soldiers looking for roadside bombs to 23-year-old combat veterans trying to start their lives again, the film offers an intimate look at the young Americans who fight our wars, the families and towns they come from — and the way one faraway conflict changes everything. A co-production of Quincy Hill Films and ITVS in association with American Documentary | POV, with funds provided by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. (90 minutes)
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Don't miss this incredible documentary airing this week on PBS. Be sure to check your local listings for specific dates and times. In addition, you can view it online November 11th-December 11th @ pbs.org/pov.
I've seen several bloggers who have an ongoing list of concerts they've been to. I've been trying to re-compile mine for MONTHS now and every time I think I have it down, I realize I'm forgetting lots more. For now, here goes. Have you guys seen any of these bands too?
New Kids on the Block
Tim McGraw and Faith Hill x3
Rascal Flatts
LFO
Britney Spears
NSYNC and Puffdaddy Incubus
Lifehouse Darius Rucker Lenny Kravitz Mark Wills Howie Day
The Script
Ben Rector
Matt Wertz
Mat Kearney
Train
Counting Crows and LIVE Gavin Degraw
Keith Urban Colin Raye Nelly Furtado Kenny Chesney Jason Mraz O.A.R. Tristan Prettyman
Lisa Marie Presley
Casting Crowns
Michael W. Smith Journey Luke Bryan The Band Perry Night Ranger Foreigner
Who I WANT To See Carrie Underwood Brad Paisley Jimmy Buffet Lady Antebellum James Morrison Lil Wayne Jason Aldean Phil Collins Reba
A brand new month and a brand new warmer and scent from Scentsy!
For the month of November, "Plum Garland" is 10% off as well as the fragrance "Midnight Fig." Take a peek...
We had our brand new catalog launch back in September and it's chock full of some pretty amazing new warmers and scents like this one called "Snapshot." You get to personalize your warmer with an adorable picture of someone you love. Makes an amazing and thoughtful gift!
If you've never tried Scentsy, now is the time! You can host an online or in person party and earn lots of free goodies and half price items with ease. If you're interested in hosting or just curious what Scentsy is all about, feel free to comment or send me an email at ShanStinson@yahoo.com. I also have lots of videos on YouTube explaining how Scentsy works and giving the lowdown on all of our products. ((Click Here))
Lastly, when you buy Scentsy products, not only are you getting a 100% guarantee, you're supporting someone's personal business. It could be a stay at home mom, someone unemployed (like me!), or someone trying to earn some extra income to save for a dream vacation. It is SO appreciated.
There has been a lot of talk lately about right to die issues and it's been something on my mind for quite a while.
First, I am a Christian and one of the hardest things about this topic is that God is the one who is supposed to give life and take it away. Nobody else. However, some people argue that God wouldn't want us to suffer, nor did God consider all of the medical advancements we would have back in Bible times.
Second, I am super passionate about this topic after watching my aunt suffer as she did with her cancer. My grandmother suffered too when she had her lung and brain cancer, but she was just different. My aunt was unrecognizable. Her head had swollen at least 3 times in size. She couldn't breathe because the tumor was pressing on her nasal cavity. She was bed ridden. Needed help using the bathroom or was forced to use adult diapers. She didn't feel like eating. She was ready to go home. The chemo and radiation did NOTHING but prolong her death and weaken her even further.
I was inspired to write this post after watching an episode of Dr. Oz that was on late last week. Montel Williams was the main guest and naturally, I had to stop and watch, knowing he would be speaking about the MS he suffers with. (For those who don't know, my now ex husband was diagnosed prior to our split) He spoke about the pain he endures on a daily basis. There is no cure for MS, only things to attempt to improve your quality of life. Most cases are progressive and in a matter of months or years, your life can change dramatically. He said if he ever had another period in time where his pain level was a 10, he would absolutely want the option to end his own life. He made mention of someone he met who said their father was dying in the hospital and the last memories they have of him were him SCREAMING in pain for days upon days until he finally died. It's not right.
In the same episode, Dr. Keith Ablow stands on the side of doctors and the Hippocratic oath, which states doctors are not to administer drugs to end life or cause harm to a patient. He felt that even people in pain who are dying have a duty and purpose to others, to inspire them to live and keep fighting. While that's all fine and dandy, I don't think someone should be expected to do such a thing. It's not someone's DUTY to be an inspiration. They should have a choice. Which is the basis of the whole debate.
For me, I was raised with my mom being very open about death, dying, and end of life. She has a DNR and a living will that is very strict. She absolutely does not want chemo or radiation if she is in final stages of cancer. I agree entirely. I do not want to be suffering from stage four cancer and having to endure those horrendous treatments. I know I have something wonderful waiting for me on the other side and I am not fearful of death in that way.
One of the most important things you can do is create a living will, no matter what your age. If you cannot afford to contact an attorney to do one for you, contact your local Hospice as they have a document provided for free that is legal in most states called "Five Wishes."
"The Five Wishes document helps you express how you want to be treated if you are seriously ill and unable to speak for yourself. It is unique among all other living will and health agent forms because it looks to all of a person's needs: medical, personal, emotional and spiritual. Five Wishes also encourages discussing your wishes with your family and physician."
It is also important to appoint someone you trust who can be your voice should something happen to you. Someone who will honor your wishes and be able to handle tough end of life and treatment decisions without involving emotion. Sometimes the burden is too much for spouses and immediate family members, so take some time to find the right person, speak to them about it, and check that off your list.
All in all, I want to die with dignity. I do not want to suffer, be in massive pain, and be counting the days, minutes, and seconds until my death. I am 100% for Death with Dignity as long as it is done properly and with all options and outlooks being presented to the person. As others have said, we allow our animals to die with dignity, why not ourselves?
If you want to watch some of the Dr. Oz show, click here. If you'd like more information on Death With Dignity, click here.
You do not have to ask me twice to do any kind of post on the lovable Lilly Pulitzer. She and her line of fabulous frocks are my favorites. This week for Friday Fancies, Alison is doing an amazing Lilly Pulitzer giveaway along with a Lilly theme. HOW FABULOUS???!!! Click the image below for more info on how you can walk away with Lilly loot.
So, here is my FF for today fully Lilly loaded. Don't forget to join in the fun and enter your creation as well over at Long Distance Loving.
So, part one of this entry is something I've been wanting to share for almost a week now. I just haven't the time.
I started seeing a therapist again here, actually one I saw many, many years ago. He's fabulous. Absolutely fantastic. Nothing bores or bothers me more than simply sitting in an office talking. I want work to be done.
In my last session (which also happens to be only my second) I was hypnotized. I know, before some of you freak out, hear me out. First, he asked me if I was okay with it, explained how it all worked, and reminded me it's nothing like what you see on TV. It completely wasn't. The purpose of it in my life, was to convince my mind that the painful, violent memories I have with my now ex husband, are no longer. They were part of the past and do not affect my future. They will not happen again and I do not have to live my life in fear, worry, or anxiousness. It worked like a charm.
I cannot explain to you how much better I felt after it was done. Honestly. This particular memory was horrid. It was the most terrifying of them all and one that in more ways than I realized, still had a massive grip on my life. Now, the memory is there but it is no longer a trigger. I no longer view it as a fear. It happened. I'm alive. It's over. It's really amazing.
It is supposed to be done for each memory I have but truthfully, after taking that out of the equation, all that is really left is just the "bland" memories of overall chaos, pain, anger, and violence.
BUT...with all of that being said...I still get feelings of sadness over the loss of my marriage. More so, when dealing with the baby. November is a tough month for me. It was one of my favorites, but now it carries the burden of my Thanksgiving baby that never was. I should be planning a one year old birthday party. Planning themes. Sending out invites. Relishing in the fact my first born is celebrating his or her first birthday. What an incredible moment in life. But, it wasn't to be.
Last night was an "off night" for Romeo & I, which lead to me crying my eyes out next to him while he slept and contemplating every decision and every twist and turn my life had brought me. I'm supposed to be married. I'm supposed to be sleeping next to my husband. We're supposed to be happy. Our child is supposed to be in the other room. Sometimes it feels like some crazy dream/nightmare. I'll pinch myself and I'll be transported back in time and everything will be amazing. Truthfully, I know it was never amazing and everything that has happened, happened for a reason. As happy or as comfortable as I am in my current state, it's still something that pops in my head from time to time.
Don't get me wrong, I truly have no regrets. I didn't want to stay in a miserable, scary marriage. I wasn't being treated the way I deserved and wasn't going to spend my life that way. Never the less, I still feel robbed. To this day. I only wanted to be married once. I certainly did not want to ever experience losing a child. That's a pain I cannot describe and a pain that will never truly heal. As I was explaining to my therapist, even if I do go on to have a family of my own someday, in my mind, there should always be someone else at the table. Another big brother or big sister. There will always be someone missing.
It's also hard because I have nobody to help me remember the baby. I'm on my own. The other person who lived the joy and sorrow with me is no longer in my life. Not that it would do a whole lot of good anyway. It's not something I want to just randomly bring up to friends and family. After all, I really can't discuss it without being overcome with emotion. And Romeo, I'm sure he would have the best of intentions but in all fairness, he's never gotten a girl pregnant, never been married and divorced, and never had a girlfriend/wife lose their baby. He has no clue.
My therapist suggested writing a goodbye letter to the baby and in the moment, I said I would. I don't feel like goodbye is appropriate. Maybe I'm not ready to say goodbye, but I don't believe in goodbye. Baby P is with me always and always will be and someday, I will see him or her again. There is no need for goodbye.
In the mean time, I continue to make progress, and continue to have some pain. Such is life.
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AND...it wouldn't be a Thursday without Goodnight Moon's link-up. So, here's my song for this week. It popped in my head as I was wallowing in my sorrows last night. An oldie from when Romeo & I had our breakup back in the day. LOL. Ignore whatever TV show is running in the video.
So, ever since the news that Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from Kris Humphries, I felt a strong desire to blog about it like the rest of us celeb news addicts. Yes, I enjoy reading about celeb life and all of the Hollywood glitz and glam. Sue me.
I was going to just can the notion, but a comment someone said today made me realize the ignorance and sheer hatred there is out there. It's sad.
First, divorce SUCKS. Unless you've been through it yourself and seen your own marriage dissolve, you don't know. I watched my parents divorce and it was seriously tough cookies, but nothing compared to the agony of my own short lived marriage.
While I've never been famous, been on the front page of every social magazine, made millions of dollars, or been married to someone who has, I did have a short marriage as well. When I married my now ex husband, I married him with the intention of forever. Nobody gets married with the intentions of divorce. Nobody. The fact people are over and over and over again stating this was all a publicity stunt is the most absurd thing I have ever heard in my life.
You may not like her, but hear me out....
First, the Kardashian family is an empire. Each one of those family members has their own "brand" and rakes in millions upon millions upon millions each year. The girls have Dash Boutiques, their own clothing brand now making it's way around home shopping clubs, reality shows, Kim has numerous deals with Vegas hot spots, and she also has a business link with ShoeDazzle. Kendall and Kylee are models and Rob has been on Dancing with the Stars this season. Bruce Jenner has money from when he was an Olympic athelete and Kris Jenner is managing the family empire and then some. Not to mention the wealth that was left behind when their father Robert Kardashian, famed OJ Simpson attorney, passed away. This family is set. They need not create marriages on television to make themselves financially stable. The Kardashian brand is successful enough without publicity stunts and so called "fame whoring." It sickens me to think people would lump a marriage into that category. SICK.
Kim's family has stated many times on the show how much of a romantic she is and how she quickly falls head over heels for someone and basically trusts them with her life. She obviously did that with Kris. Maybe they rushed things, maybe they didn't. Maybe they didn't ask the right questions. Maybe Kris was in it for fame. WHO KNOWS? All I do know, is it's not up to us to rip her or him apart and drag their marriage or lack thereof through the trenches. I can't imagine spending millions on a wedding, guests traveling from all over the world, and all of the gifts received just for a publicity stunt. No way.
Like I said before, divorce sucks. It hurts and it leaves a pain behind long after the ink has been dried. This is Kim's second and she's just 31. She is a celebrity, but what we often fail to realize is that celebs are the same as you and I, just with lots more attention and larger bank accounts. They put their pants on one leg at a time, they eat food, they drink water, they watch TV, they read books, they go for walks, they also have feelings. I feel sorry that their marriage doesn't seem to be working out. Going through a public divorce is even more painful and having a bunch of morons scrutinize your every decision and pick apart the validity of your marriage on national television and all over print is hurtful.
With that said, enough already. Leave the situation be. Stop making ugly judgments on people, celebrities, or things you have no clue about. None of us were married to Kim or Kris. None of us (I presume) know them personally. None of us can speak for them. Plain and simple, someone's marriage is falling apart and it's painful, it's embarrassing, and it sucks.
Furthermore, this interview with Kris Jenner is FABULOUS. I adore her.
One thing I love about amazing cameras is their ability to shoot video and stills during production. When you also have an awesome lighting person, fantastic producer, and great makeup, you have a complete win. Here are some stills from my week in Cabo, courtesy of Blackburst Entertainment.
