I've been sitting here searching on Google images trying to find a picture to describe this blog entry. Crying & exhaustion aren't rendering anything suitable. I know, I know. My last blog entry was about how elated I was about Mr. Mystery. I know. What can I say? I'm an emotional basket case right now.
I have one of the most insanely ridiculously stressful jobs on the planet. Scheduling people for events sounds like a slap on the wrist. You are probably laughing at me. Honestly, you have no idea. I can't even begin to describe how my job functions or why it is so stressful. Just know, I almost threw all my papers at the COO today and told him to go "F@$*" himself today. The sad part is, I really like the guy. He's cool and I have a good business relationship with him. I'd have thrown them at my boss but I've never met her. She works in a totally different state. Truth is, I've never really met any of my bosses. Fun. When I interviewed, he told me that it was the most under-appreciated, yet most crucial job in the entire company. Meh. I don't need respect and appreciation to get the job done. I do however need LOGIC from others in order to survive.
I'm moving. Yep. I have not really announced this to anyone. For a reason. But tonight, I've had some wine and I just don't care anymore. Back to Orlando. The place I've called hell for the past few years. The place I swore I'd never return. Yeah. I'm THAT girl. Believe me, I'm not thrilled about it but I've just had enough of fighting to stay afloat. I hope it's not forever, but it could end up that way. As we speak, I'm drowning in boxes and crap strewn all over the place. I have to wake up @ 7am, pack my 2 door Honda Civic with as many boxes as I can, a nd make 20 bazillion trips across town and back all by myself. Score, the life of a single girl!
I know this is yet another down hill slope in the life of me, something I'm quite familiar with. I don't believe my life will EVER be settled and comfy. I will always have turbulence, though I pray someday I don't.
I notified my work I'm moving. I prayed and hoped and prayed and hoped they'd let me take my job to Orlando as many of the people in my position can work from home. Somehow, I think they are just planning a way to screw me instead. Awesome. I bust my rear, work more than I should, care more than I should, and get screwed. I'm sending them an email tomorrow telling them I need an answer by Friday. I. AM. SO. DONE.
I need a plan. I need a career. I need permanence. I have never had it. My whole life, I've never had it. Everything is forever changing.
Now, I am thinking about becoming a paralegal. But alas, even that is a stressful situation. I'm almost finished with my A.S. in Business and if I decide to turn back now, I throw away a LOT of the work I've done over the past 8 years. Yeah. I know. 8 years and I still don't have my degree. Another serious issue for me emotionally and spiritually. It kills me. Paralegal = another FULL YEAR of classes. Spring. Summer. Fall. FML. It's the most sensible option given my circumstances. I do LOVE law and would have LOVED to go to law school had life dealt me different cards. I still am not sure that's where God wants me, but perhaps he'll use it as a tool to get me where I need to be. I need to be helping others, serving others, making an impact somehow.
Lastly, I'm so in love with Romeo. There, I said it. Maybe you can put two and two together and solve the "mystery." ;-) I love that he's been with me half of my life. I love that we have had our falling outs and we piss one another off to no end, but we both love each other like nobody else has. I love that when we kiss, when we touch, it all feels so very right. I love that I feel 19 again when we are together. I love that I can get angry and emotional and he listens, even if he says things that piss me off even more. I love knowing that at the end of the day, he's the one person I can TRULY count on to ALWAYS be there. I love that I am so lucky to have him in my life and to have had him in my life for so long. Not many people can say that. Right now, the only thing I want to do is run to him, cry my eyes out, and go to sleep. That is all. Then, everything would be right in the world...until I had to wake up the next morning and get back to reality. But, those few hours would make it so worth it.
I want to be done. Like done. Like really done. Sooner than later. I'm so so tired.
Thanks for listening to me ramble. I'm on night two of partaking in vino and tonight, I added chocolate. That means it's REALLY bad because I think chocolate is GROSS. Quite possibly the only estrogen filled woman on the planet who dislikes it. As I was standing in the mile long line of Trader Joe's with my $8 bottle of Pinot Noir after a long workday, a beautiful Dark Chocolate Salted Caramel bar caught my eye. Yum.
So, pulling up to Childress Vineyards, I lost my breath. It only confirmed to me my intense, insane desire to someday get married among the grapevines. UGH! So gorgeous.
Anyway, my date with "Mr. Mystery" (thanks to a reader who came up with that) was amazing. I wish I could show you guys the photos of us, but I'm still keeping him a secret for now. We ordered a bottle of Reserve Merlot and each chose some items from the four course offerings. I had Caesar Salad, Antipasto, Filet Mignon with Asparagus & Mashed Potatoes, & Creme Brulee for dessert. Mr. Mystery had Potato Soup, Crab Dip, Chicken Scaloppini with Gnocchi, and Cheesecake :) It was just incredible. The view was gorgeous, the food was delicious, and we SO enjoyed each other. It was perfection.
Did you guys ever read "The Secret" or watch the video? It was given to me several years ago by a family friend and I wish I still had it. Regardless, the concept is basic and memorable.
You are what you attract. The law of attraction is real. I believe in it entirely.
The other night, I had a discussion with a friend about this very idea. It somehow just came to me in that moment and it's not something I've thought about in quite some time.
In very basic terms, if you are someone who is constantly thinking negatively, you're going to have negative things happen to you. If you try to remain optimistic regardless of what comes your way, you will be given things to be optimistic about.
For me, remembering this principle will help me tremendously now. The Bible tells us "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7) This is the law of attraction. We need to live our lives in a manner that will allow what we want, to naturally attract to us.
For me I'm single, yet deep in my heart I do want to re-marry again and have a family. Granted, this all happens in God's perfect timing, but I need to be living my life now in a manner that will attract that AND ask for it. If I want that, but I'm out partying and drinking every weekend, it won't come to me. Makes sense right? Seems so simple, yet how often are we really putting this into play?
I have no shame in admitting that I'm not the "perfect pray-er." I rarely pray. It's something I enjoy doing, talking to God, but I find when I do it relaxes me so much I sleep! Perhaps it's Gods way of giving me what I need since I'm an insomniac :) I know they also say to set aside a specific time each day to spend with God, but I've never been good at that either. I am going to make it a goal of mine for the remainder of the year to ask and seek. I will be specific, yet understand it is all in His timing and not mine.
I'm sooo excited! Today is going to be an incredible day! I have special plans for a massage and mani/pedi day, followed by some relaxing sun by the pool, and then a special date night at a local winery that I've been dying to go to. Yes, I said date night. If only you guys knew who it was with :) One day soon (perhaps) I'll share. Anyway, take a peek at my Friday Fancies this week for a cute outfit I'd LOVE to wear on our date tonight. The picture of the vineyard is the actual one we're going to!
For this weeks Pink and Green, I decided to go out on a limb and wait for it...do a BABY post. No, this does not mean I'm pregnant NOR does it mean I would like to be ((Everyone EXHALE!!!)). Thanks to Pinterest, I've got a 5 year head start on baby faves and wanted to share some of my favorite pink and green delights :) I know lots of you who read my blog are preggers, so for those having girls...enjoy!
I'm loving someone special is leaving on a jet plane tomorrow to come see me for the first time EVER. Such a huge deal y'all have NO IDEA! Can't wait to be able to share details eventually.
I'm honestly LOVING Scentsy's new September Scent of the Month, Pumpkin Marshmallow. It really is so yummy and the perfect Fall fragrance. You can purchase it starting September 1st and at 10% off by going to my Scentsy site here. If you'd like a new catalog and a sample, let me know!
I'm loving my friends Kate & Bryan moved into their gorgeous new forever home this week. Hooray! What an awesome accomplishment. I'm NOT loving that I won't be in NC much longer to enjoy it with them :(
I'm loving this sweet memorial Jill @ "Vermont Angels" did for me. I really need to make a book of all of the amazing names people have done.
I'm loving after many, many months...I no longer have roots. HOLLER! I paid Kate's awesome stylist a visit and am so bummed to be leaving her too. She did an awesome job! I don't have to wear my fedora now with every single outfit I own when I go out!
So, as promised...here are the pictures from our awesomely fun time at Lake Norman over the weekend. Even though I didn't get to spend a ton of time with these guys while I lived in NC, I will miss them SO MUCH! We always have a blast together.
So last night was the AMAZING Journey, Night Ranger, & Foreigner concert. It was a BLAST. Here's a couple pics from the night and a new and GORGEOUS song I learned about from my friend Andy. It's a new fave for sure <3
It's Sunday. Four more days until a certain someone makes their way to the tarheel state to see me :) Squeel! Soooo excited. We've planned an awesome weekend and I couldn't be more happy about it.
I'm being very selective about what I say on my blog right now and will continue to be until all is said and done. BUT...some major changes are heading my way. Things I pretty much never thought would happen, but are. My theory of never say never, really is true. Anytime I say never, I stick my foot in my mouth :-X
Anyway, I can't wait to share everything with you guys and see where this next journey takes me. I'm so nervous and I'm hoping it's the right thing to do right now. And no, since everyone automatically assumes a big announcement means you're pregnant...I am not. Last I checked you'd actually have to be having sex for that to happen. LOL.
I wish I could share pics of last night with you guys. Kate & our LKN crew spent some good times at a local lake establishment enjoying the gorgeous scenery, $1 High Lifes, and hilarious conversation. Afterwards, we went to her gorgeous new house her and her hubs built. If you want to see it, visit her blog as she's been showing the process step by step. Once she posts pictures of our night, I'll share with you guys.
Tonight...I'M STOKED. My friend Andy and I and some of his friends are going to see Journey, Foreigner, & Night Ranger. WOOOOOOOOOO. Ya'll don't even know how much I love Journey. "Don't Stop Believin'" has been my jam since birth. Literally. I can't wait.
I know the song below is Steve Winwood and I've probably posted it already, but I love it so much. It makes me smile :)