Self Worth

This may end up a rant. It may end up a letter. It may end up meaning nothing, or it could mean something to someone. So, here I go.

It has taken me years, lots and lots of tears, abusive relationships, manipulative people, and lots and lots of hurt to realize my worth. I remember a very long time ago when the face I saw staring back at me, wasn't pretty. When the boyfriend I had telling me I would never do better than him seemed believable. When the husband who put his hands on me tried to convince me he loved me.

Why am I saying this? Because I know someone somewhere out there is reading this and wondering what they are worth. Wondering if they are good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or deserving enough. YOU ARE!

Nobody is perfect. We all have flaws, even that gorgeous guy on the cover of GQ has issues, so do you. BUT there is someone who will come along one day and love you for all of your imperfections. I know I am a romantic at heart, but I believe this with all of my soul. Relationships are never easy and yes, they do take lots of work, but you should never spend a tear on someone who isn't there to dry it for you. Seriously.

It's just not worth it.

People who aren't in your life to encourage you, uplift you, make you a better person, and walk with you on your journey...shouldn't be there. Don't allow them to be. Furthermore, don't allow people who have nothing but negativity, drama, and hurt to enter your life in any realm.

There are always going to be haters, naysayers, people who are jealous, people who fear you, people who want what you have, and people who try to knock you down. Don't let them win. Don't give them an ounce of your energy. Feel sorry for them. Pray for them. Move on.

Don't waste your time thinking you can change someone. Trust me. It never happens. Sure, people change and you should celebrate them when they do, but they have to find it within themselves. You can't do it for them.

You can't make someone love you, no matter how hard you try. No amount of extra makeup, new clothes, sexy lingerie, or home cooked meal will change that. This is one of the hardest things in life to accept. Someone either loves you or they don't. If they do, you'll know it. It won't be a secret and they'll make you feel it deep inside your soul. If they don't, you owe it to yourself to pick up the pieces, move on, love yourself, and wait for the right person to prove to you how much they love you.

Tough.

Sometimes your family lets you down. Sometimes your family doesn't act like family. Sometimes your friends are your family. This is okay. We don't choose our families. We can choose to keep them at a distance if they don't respect our boundaries and love us unconditionally.

Boundaries. My favorite word. Establish them. Use them. Stick to them. Standards are different than boundaries. Boundaries are lines that can't be crossed like, "I will not stay in a relationship with someone if he raises his voice to me" or "I will leave a relationship the first time he raises a hand to me" or "I will not accept anyone speaking to me negatively without apology." Boundaries are GREAT. Seriously, one of life's greatest gifts. They empower you. They make you stand up for what you believe in. They protect you.

Sometimes you may feel all alone or like nobody loves you. I have felt that way and I'm sure all of us have. The truth is God loves you. He really does and that love is unfailing. He will never let you down, never raise his voice to you, never call you a bad name, never raise a hand to you, and never take you for granted. There is no greater love than that and when I feel alone, I'm comforted knowing that no matter what, I have Him on my side, in my corner, fighting for me.

You don't have regrets. You have lessons. Use everything you've been through to teach you something. In every loss, there is something new. Use what you've learned and what you've been through to teach other people. We all have something to learn from one another.

Don't judge. This is hard to do. It comes natural to a lot of us, but it is so very wrong. You never know when you could be walking in that persons shoes. You just never, ever know.