Honestly, not a lot has changed. I'm still searching for a job which is miserably frustrating. I knew this was ahead of me when coming to Orlando and all I can say is I am so thankful God has enabled me to somehow stay afloat. I do not use credit cards, so I've managed to keep it together while being basically unemployed for the past almost 2 months. Granted, for the first 2 weeks, I was still working from home for my old company and they have since asked me to help out here and there. Thankful for that. I also worked at the IAAPA convention last week which was such a blessing. I've been applying for jobs in Orlando for almost 3 months now, with not as much as one single phone call or email response back. It's crazy. I'm either not qualified enough or over qualified. I have LOTS of business and office experience, yet can't even get a simple secretary or receptionist position because they've "decided to pursue other candidates." Interesting. Tonight, I did receive a break after learning the secretary at a friends' law firm gave her notice. It would be somewhat of a commute for me, but working for his firm would prove to be a great experience for me, could open more doors, and would be amazingly secure. ((SAY PRAYERS PLEASE!!!)) I am turning my focus to law and plan on changing my major (for the 15th time) to Paralegal. I'd have all next year in school and be done and could always finish my A.S. in Business later. Having a Paralegal degree is not a requirement, but gives me a competitive advantage over others who may have some to no prior law experience. Not to mention, it lends itself to a pretty favorable salary for having a minor degree.
Romeo and I are doing great. We've pretty well settled into sharing day to day life together, though every day is an opportunity to learn something new. I still have personal fears to overcome and I'm hoping with time and my therapists help, those will be eradicated eventually. We still have a few hurdles to clear, but there is nothing I can do to clear them. Some big changes are up ahead, which I learned about tonight, and I'm super anxious and nervous about them. I won't talk about them yet and probably not for many months to come, but whatever the outcome, I pray it's what Romeo needs and is a step in the right direction.
Thursday is Thanksgiving, which was also my due date with Baby P. It will be a tough day, but I have decided to celebrate Baby P's "Heaven Day" as opposed to their expected due date. I have full faith my little one went to be with Jesus when he or she left my body. It is painful, more than one can imagine, but it is also to be celebrated. I will do something on Thanksgiving to remember the baby and anyone with ideas, please pass them along.
I mustered the courage to write Romeo a letter explaining all of the above about losing the baby. He obviously wasn't in my life while I was married and experiencing all of that pain and had never experienced something like that before. So, one night I stayed up until 2:30 writing a 4 page letter conveying what a hole in my heart it has left and precisely why. It was also brought to my attention by both my mom and my dad's wife that I frequently left the door open for DC when speaking to Romeo. I did this mainly out of fear and uncertainty but realized it wasn't fair of me to expect him to commit to me when I wasn't showing commitment on my end. So, I included several paragraphs about my fears, my feelings, and that if he wanted me, I'd be there. I'd make the sacrifice because I love him that much. Scary, but true and hopefully worth the risk.
Anyway, I am off to finish watching the GOP debate and hit the sack. Thanks for listening!
0 comments:
Post a Comment
I love comments. I love healthy debate. Please don't bother leaving something negative, it will not be approved. Most importantly, this is my blog based on my experiences. My views on the world might not be the same as yours. Please respect my space as I will respect yours.