The Great Ring Debate

Okay, so this is one of those blog entries of mine that requires a disclaimer and a reminder...that this is my blog and my beliefs on life. You don't have to agree, but you don't need to get offended or feel the need to go bananas on me. Thanks ;-)


So for a few weeks now, I've been pondering addressing this topic on my blog. Then, an article popped up on The Today Show about a woman who lost her $10,000 engagement ring and her fiancee went through hell and high water to find it...and did. Awesome story, yet people had to leave absurd and offensive comments about the cost of her ring and how outrageous it was. My mouth kinda dropped.


First, there have been and will be many, many more rings costing quite a bit more than $10,000 bought in this world. Personally, I thought it was an about average price, give or take. Second, who are you to make comments on how little or how much someone chooses to spend on THEIR engagement ring? It's not yours. To me, it was envy from those who weren't in a position to receive a ring costing that much. Kinda sad, but I realize that green bug of envy bites us all at times. None the less, the cost of the ring was pulling people away from the meaning of the story. How horrible that she lost the ring in the first place (I would be DEVASTATED) and how romantic that he searched high and low and found it for her. Plain and simple, an awesome, loving story. 


So, how is this blog entry supposed to get your panties in a wad? Here ya go...


It's no secret weddings, rings, and everything in between have been a big deal in my life for as long as I can remember. I was that girl with the bridal magazines and The Knot account in middle school. I was picking out my china and bridesmaids dresses in high school. Seriously. I know. It's no surprise when I got older, I wanted to plan weddings and events, so I did for 3 years. When I got married, I had no pomp and circumstance, no dream ring (or even close), or anything resembling what I had dreamed of. Except perhaps the man I thought I'd be spending forever with. So, even with (or without) all of that my feelings have probably gotten worse and my inner bridezilla is bound to rear it's ugly head on the next love of my life. Heaven help him.


One of the things I'm most passionate about are engagement rings. I mean like seriously passionate. I am not a jewelry kinda gal. I don't wear earrings everyday and don't really own expensive pieces of jewelry. I don't believe in wearing more than one ring at a time, a tennis bracelet isn't really my thing, and I'm not even huge on watches. So naturally, I put a TON of weight on an engagement ring. For me, I will wear it everyday of my life for all eternity. I know some people eventually take it off and just wear their band, not me. I do not want an anniversary ring in 10, 20, or 30 years. I want my one ring forever. I do not want an upgrade. The ring put on my finger during a proposal and our vows, is the one I want for good.


To me, it's an investment. A multi-faceted and complex one. If a man proposed to you with a $25 ring from the flea market, he wouldn't be out much if he decided he changed his mind. To me, it also doesn't seem like he gave it much thought either. (No offense to anyone who prefers that method) Deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone is a huge decision and in turn, the method of committing to that with a diamond can be pretty costly too. Now before people start thinking I equate love with money, I do not. I realize someone can spend 2 million on a ring and be divorced in a matter of weeks. I also realize a $500 ring can be just as beautiful and hold as much meaning as a $50,000 one. BUT...I am old fashioned and also feel that an engagement ring is a symbol of stature and dedication. For me, when I look down at my hand (well, not currently) I want to see something that I know my fiancee worked his butt off to pay for. I want to see it on my hand everyday and go "Wow. He worked so hard to give this to me. I am SO lucky." On the flip, I don't want to be in debt for the next 10 years over it either. I would much rather wait a few years to be engaged and get the ring of my dreams, then settle for something that's really not me.


I know some of the things I've said are probably shocking. Believe me, I had this debate time and time again with my ex husband and his buddies who thought I was ridiculous. Yes, I have expensive taste. I know. I'm spoiled. I'll admit that too. For me, it's the one thing in life I want to be a stinker about. Cars? Meh. House? I can deal if I have to. My ring, no question. Again, I'm someone who wants the one ring and only that ring forever.


I totally understand not everyone has the same sentiments as I in regards to engagement rings. For some, it's merely another piece of jewelry. Just like some people would rather save the money spent on a lavish wedding for a down payment on a home. Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong. What I can't stand is people who judge other people for spending X amount on a ring of their choice. If one of my friends were engaged with a $25 flea market ring and she was absolutely in love with it, I'd be happy for her. If another friend got some whopping $50,000 engagement ring, I might be a tinge jealous but I certainly wouldn't question why her fiancee decided to spend that much. That's HIS decision. 


I know when my time comes, I'll be happy with what my fiancee decides. For one, I know he will know me inside and out and he'll know what my engagement ring will mean to me. For everyone else, as long as YOU are happy, that is all that matters.