You know, I have to say...I'm a pretty confident person. I don't have self esteem issues, I know my self-worth, and I know what I deserve. If someone I'm with isn't going to realize that and doesn't appreciate me, I don't need them in my life. I say this, because I am not someone who is easily jealous. I don't feel the desire to go through call histories, ask who is calling, and know every detail of what's going on at all times. Perhaps that will someday bite me, but for now...it is what it is.
BUT...
One thing that is super exhausting is something I call "The Ex Factor." This translates to someone talking about a certain kitchen device and the person you are dating saying "Oh yea, I got that for my ex (insert name here)." Happy to know. I mention I drink more than my guy, but don't get drunk or anything and someone from the family goes "Hopefully not as bad as (insert SAME exes name here)?" Thanks for that. Finally, guy I'm seeing has a medical issue and someone chimes in, "Well remember when (INSERT SAME EXES NAME HERE) used to sprinkle that stuff on your food to help you?" A R E Y O U K I D D I N G M E?????????????
Is it wrong for me to be entirely exhausted by all of this? This was just in one day, in a matter of a few hours. Is it really necessary to bring up an ex girlfriend THREE EFFING TIMES IN ONE DAY? Granted, only one of those times was guys fault, but I'm literally to the point I can't take it anymore. An ex is an ex for a reason. They are gone (or should be) out of your life and not a part of your current relationship. We all have pasts, we all aren't stupid, but I'm a huge believer in not letting the past affect your future. Easier said than done sometimes, but in this situation, it happens more often than it should. I am just in a place in my life where I'm not interested in being in a relationship that isn't 1000% good for me in every way. Not perfect, but positive and forward progressing.
I didn't mention anything to guy because the last thing we needed at that present time was another argument (we had just come off a big heater). So here I am, venting on my blog and wondering what the hell to do about the sitch. Maybe it's not a big deal. Maybe it is. HELP!!!???
How would you guys handle this?
Friday, November 25, 2011
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I don't think of myself as overly jealous or anything but that would drive me up a wall. I do not want my husband to ever bring up an ex girlfriend. I don't talk about my exes, I don't know why he should. Thank goodness he doesn't. It makes me uncomfortable as an outsider too. I have a friend who talks about her ex husband all the time, and it just makes me feel weird and I don't know how I should respond with her new husband right there. And, I wonder how it makes him feel.
ReplyDeletethat's a tough one. they are an ex, but when you've spent a chunk of your life with a person, you associate certain things with them. sorry this is happening. i did this with my hubby about my ex hubby, but we had spent almost 12 years of our lives together. it's not an excuse, and finally i figured it out for myself and just never mentioned ex's name. it's really hard when it isn't your boyfriend saying her name but his friends and family. i don't think it means anything, and i wouldn't sweat it. sorry to ramble.
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