Life is a Changing...

Well ladies (and a few gents), my life is a changing. What's new? I'm never somewhere for long. My life is always on the move. 


I'm kinda ready to spill some beans, but not all of them.


A week from now, I'm moving back home. A week from now, I'll be unloading my Uhaul into Romeo's garage and "staying" or "crashing" or something with him. I do not use the word "living" because it freaks me out a tad. I mean, it's not living together. I'll be over at his place 80% of the time anyway, so he figured "Why not?" Sharing closet space with a man also freaks me out. I didn't even do that with my ex husband. I am excited to cook and clean for someone again. I know, I know. How crazy, insane, housewifey of me. I honestly enjoy it though.


This is all so bittersweet and overwhelming for so many reasons.


For one, I never imagined living back in Orlando again. I really, really dislike it there. Like, really. Sure, Florida is always in my soul but it's really not where I envisioned my future. 


It might be temporary. I've given "things" until the end of the year to go in the right direction. A concrete, solid, unwavering direction. If it doesn't go the way it needs to, back to DC I go. I'm struggling with that SO much. I recently remembered how strongly I felt about raising a family in DC and how that won't be possible if I end up staying in Orlando. Will I be okay with that sacrifice? And for those wondering, if things work out with Romeo, living outside Orlando is simply not an option due to professional and family commitments.


It's also hard for me because I won't have a real "home." I'll be going back and forth between family and Romeo's places. I hate that feeling. It just makes no sense for me to get a place of my own when I have places to stay. The whole point in me going back home is to save money I would be spending on rent here in Charlotte.


On the flip side, I have so much to be thankful for. I am thankful I have someone who just called me and said "I've never been so excited in my life" after reminding him 24 hours from now, we'll be together again, at home. Le sigh. That is cute. I'm thankful I have so many friends and family back home who miss me and who I miss in return. I'm thankful I'll be surrounded by these people and have some more memories to add to my life.


I'm embracing this new path, though hesitant and nervous, I'm embracing it. One day at a time.


Pray for me as I move forward. Pray I find a J-O-B ASAP. Like yesterday. Really. That's my main source of fear, though I'm trying to trust and let go.