This week has really stirred me. There is nothing I hate more than to see people I love in unnecessary pain. It's no secret I hate divorce and I hate the destruction it causes to so many people. It doesn't matter if you're 15 or 50 when your parents divorce, it just plain sucks. What sucks even more is when people get ugly, greedy, and vindictive. It sucks when people lie and when people don't admit the full truth of a situation. I remember during my divorce people were so quick to jump to conclusions, yet never had their facts straight. They were also too unintelligent to realize there are two people in a divorce. Two sides. Two stories. Wouldn't it be nice to not just live in a world with no divorce, but one where the divorces were amicable?
I am witnessing all of this firsthand with someone (well, a few people) I love dearly. It's very scary and so insanely confusing. If you've never been through a divorce, you cannot imagine the amount of stress you go through. Doesn't matter if neither of you have a cent to your name and no kids or millions of dollars and are extremely successful, the level of stress is off the charts.
Coincidentally, I received an e-mail this week to my old account from The Experience Project. I was heavily involved in that site when I was dating M. It was a fantastic starting point to connect with others in the military family. This e-mail highlighted several new shared experiences, including this one about being stunned by a parents divorce. It goes to show that no matter what the age, divorce changes everyone in some way.
Through this, I've also been trying to breathe and trust.
We can get so wrapped up in "What if's?" and hurts from the past that we move too fast and lose sight of things in front of us today. Day by day is truly the only way to live, though we live in a society always wanting to know what's happening next. People date for a while and we wonder when they will get engaged. They get married and we wonder when there will be babies. Ugh. So guilty of that.
Anyway, things like this can either destroy a person or bring you closer to someone as well. I wish I could go into more detail, but it's taken me several days to finish this post. I realize I'm not quite ready to lay it all on the line for everyone to see. I'll get there.
Breathe and trust <3
Divorces are painful to watch. You wish you could do something to ease your friends' pain, but what can you do aside from listen? I've never been through a divorce but I've watched quite a handful of my friends go through it and it sucks. Especially when you're friends with both parties; it becomes a "Who get's the kids (friends)" tug of war. It's exhausting.
ReplyDeleteMy parents separated 8 months before my wedding, and it took them 3 years to get a divorce because things were so nasty. It was a really difficult time in my life and it has effected me and each one of my 3 sisters differently. I luckily had my husband who supported me through the whole ordeal and has continued to support me. He really helped me keep my head on straight and did his best to encourage me through it. I know that not everyone has such an amazing support system when they are going through divorce and my heart aches for them.
ReplyDeleteI will pray that God gives you the wisdom and the words you need to support your friends through these difficult times.