The Great Pre-Nup Debate

So, here's where my readers get to give their two cents on something big. How do you guys feel about prenuptial agreements?


This came up in conversation between Romeo & I tonight and honestly, we've talked about it since we were 19. My stance on it has always been the same.
Why should someone be legally entitled to their spouses assets earned prior to them even being united in legal marriage?


I could give so many examples of how I've seen this affect people in my life, but I'll give a hypothetical first.


If my dad spent his entire life building a successful corporate empire, with assets creeping into the millions, why should a man I marry have access to what was earned prior to him even being in my life? To me, it makes no sense.


I know some people claim it's all about trusting the person you marry. I'm sorry, to me that's a crock. I trust nobody on this earth as much as I trust Romeo and he could probably say the same about me. But, if we ever married, we'd absolutely have a pre-nup and I would have ZERO qualms about it. Why? Because his dad has worked his entire life to build what he's had. His grandparents on his moms side worked their entire lives to give his family what they did when they both passed. It doesn't belong to me. It's a non issue.


Someone very close to me, very close to me, experienced precisely why a pre-nup is so important.


She was widowed in tragic circumstances. Her husband was very successful in the family corporate business. He provided a fantastic life for his wife and his girls. In her sorrow, she quickly re-married. She re-married a loser. An asshole. A jerk. A punk that my mom and I both agree, if we saw in person...we'd deck him and GLADLY go to jail over it. My mom and I are not fighters. None the less, he mooched off of her. She got him a job working for the very company her previous husbands family built and continued to build. After being married for a few short years, like 3 or 4 or something, he took her to court for zillions. She did nothing wrong, there were no transgressions. Just both realizing it was a mistake to even be married in the first place. So, this little twerp decides to go after her previous husbands ESTATE. All the money left to his girls and parts of the family business. EXCUSE ME? And you know what ended up happening. She got screwed. Spent hundreds of thousands on attorneys and the dbag got SOME of what he wanted. He should have gotten NOTHING. This tore them apart and us, as it was so painful to watch for many reasons. 


I also feel strongly if you have assets, you have children, and you re-marry...a pre-nup or modified legal will is a MUST. Your new spouse should not have the ability to lock your children out of any of your assets. You as a responsible parent should want nothing less.


On the flip, you should know I feel if someone asks me to sign a pre-nuptial agreement, there must be a "cheating clause." If you think you're going to cut me out and get caught with your pants down, you're sadly mistaken. Again, I totally realize you do not have to have gobs of money to be unfaithful, but in my experiences...I've seen it run RAMPANT in the marriages I've known with money. I have zero issue with signing a pre-nup so you can protect yourself, but I have to look out for me too. 


Obviously, nobody gets married with the intentions of divorcing. Some people feel strongly that you're "setting yourself up for failure" by introducing a pre-nup. I just simply don't agree. Like I said, every fiber of my being trusts Romeo completely and entirely, but I'd have him sign a pre-nup if I had money and if we ever married, it's already a done deal for me. I don't think less of him, I don't think he loves me less, I don't think he trusts me less. In my mind, he's being smart and I'm not offended in the least. I encourage it. Had his parents had one 30 years ago, they'd not be going through the financial and emotional HELL they are experiencing now. Divorces with pre-nups are wham, bam, thank you m'am. No spending hundreds of thousands on lawyers and dragging it out for years.


The bottom line is you think you know who you marry when you marry them. Too often, people turn into complete monsters and do things you never thought capable during a divorce. It's not worth the risk. It just isn't. I'm about as traditional and conservative as they come, but this issue is where I take an "abnormal" stance. Maybe had I never seen what can happen without one and it affect me personally, I'd feel differently.