The Blame Game

First, holy gosh her ring is AMAZING! Just had to toss that out there.


BUT...alas, the real reason for this post. First, I didn't watch The Real Housewives of BH, so I don't know all of the inside drama. I pretty much don't know a lick about Taylor's relationship with her husband. I will say that after looking through all of the celebrity trash sites, one thing was very clear to me...


Someone taking ones life is not the responsibility of anyone but the person who did the taking. In this case, it was her husbands. It is mind boggling people are so quick to blame a complete stranger for THE DEATH of someone. That is something super serious people.


I have known two people in my life who ended their lives. We all want a reason. We all want to play the blame game, but ultimately it was their decision and theirs alone to end their lives. There were many outside circumstances that lead to that sad decision, but the blame is not on anyone. 


It also reminds me of how nasty and ugly divorces can get. As if I EVER need a reminder as long as I live. It sucks their divorce was so public as well. It's one of the most HORRID decisions someone has to come to. Regardless of the circumstance, it is painful as HELL for all parties involved. To have it play out in public on national TV is so terrible. I will say, sometimes...these "celebs" sign up for this when they enter the world of reality TV. I don't have sympathy really that their divorce went public and was fair game, but it does suck it has to be that way.


I can pretty much assure you, Taylor is human. She probably does feel some responsibility for his death and certainly doesn't need a million strangers blaming her for it. At one time, she was happily married to this man. Had a forever life planned with him and had a child with him. She didn't plan on that not lasting for eternity. She loved him at one time and probably in some way always will, as most people do when they have children with someone. I'm sure she's devastated. 


In reality, the details of someone's divorce is between the two of them. It's not meant for everyone else to interject their two cents. You as an outsider don't know the entire situation and NEVER, ever will. That's one thing that bugged me to no end about mine and M's divorce. I was trying my best to keep quiet, so he wouldn't look like a complete ass bag. My family knew what was going on and why I left, because they helped me leave. Everyone else didn't really need to know and they still don't. Obviously people jumped to conclusions, lies were told, drama ensued, and the blame game was played by people who had no biz sticking their nose in our biz. Such is life. I'm glad it's behind me now. What a nightmare.


It's been almost 5 months since my divorce was final and almost a year since I left my now ex husband. I wish I could say I'm on the right track now. I'm not. It's still a daily struggle. Sometimes, the devil tells me it would have been easier to stay, but I know that's not true. I did what was right for me and I don't regret it. I couldn't change the circumstances no matter how hard I tried. I experience set backs and flash backs all the time. It's not easy to forget you were married and about all the plans you had for your future with someone. My life with M and our divorce will always be a part of me. Always. Sure, I'll move on and find someone new and it will be a thing of the past, but it will always be a scar. I'm okay with that and I think Mr. Forever will be understanding of that. You can't erase it. You can't pretend. Although I have to say, some people think they can try *cough cough*. In the era of internet domination, it's SO EASY to find out someone has been married before. So, why pretend? No thanks. 


I embrace my pain. I embrace my struggles. I embrace my mistakes. I embrace my divorce. It's a part of me and tells a story. It explains why I am who I am today. I have nothing to hide. That feels great. Freedom to be me is great.


I received such a special message from a "stranger friend" today via Twitter. Obviously, this person will remain anonymous, but here's what they said...


"Your blog is amazing. I'm really glad I found it. Exactly what I needed to read today. I'm mid-divorce. You've given me hope. :)"


Thank you anonymous. Thank you. I write for myself, but I write for others also. If someone can identify with me and learns something or is comforted, my mission is complete. We are all given far too many options to share our life experiences and to be transparent. We have the ability to learn from and teach one another. Why hide it?


Truly, that message couldn't have come at a better time. Today (yesterday by the time you read this) has been one of the most challenging days in a while. More on that later, but I'm stressed. I'm struggling. It sucks. But, I've always found a way and right now is no different. A girls gotta do what she's gotta do.