My life sure was different before being married to an active duty soldier. In more ways than one. That experience, regardless of how short, has affected me tremendously and will stay with me all the days of my life.
Prior to being with M, I didn't think about the "Happy" in Memorial Day. Sure, I remembered what the day stood for and did what I could to pray for and honor our men and women in uniform. Now, saying "Happy Memorial Day" is super offensive to me.
Don't get me wrong. I don't hold it against anyone for saying it, but to me...what is so happy about that day? What would be HAPPY would be never even having to celebrate it to begin with. Right? I know the day also brings SOME peace, healing, and remembrance to those who have lost someone in a war. I also know it opens up wounds that will never heal for some. Nothing happy about a day where you have to remember someone who was taken from you unfairly and far too soon.
I am bothered by people walking around proclaiming "Happy Memorial Day." It sounds like an oxymoron. What bothers me even more are those who talk the talk but don't walk the walk. "Oh, yeah. I honor our troops on Memorial Day!" How?
Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way. Maybe not. I'm glad we have a day set aside to honor and remember all of our military and their families. I wish we didn't have to, but because we do...I'm glad we have it.
I encourage and challenge anyone reading my blog who normally would say Happy Memorial Day, to pause and think about what the day really means, the lives lost, and the folks left behind to cope. It sure goes beyond cold beers, BBQ, and fun on the lake. There are always empty chairs on holidays. This is no exception. Somewhere, a family will be gathering for their first Memorial Day without their son or daughter. Their husband or wife. Their mom or dad. Their brother or sister. Their friend. MANY families.
Remember them. Remember their sacrifice. Honor them. Love them. Do something on Memorial Day to give back. Here are a few ideas...
*Locate your local National Veterans Cemetery. (click here for link) Almost every state has at least one. Go and place flowers, flags, and/or trinkets on a few headstones you find that are barren. You may have never met these heroes, but each one of them helped get this nation where it is today. We owe them so much. A great exercise to do with your children to help them understand what it means. If you're not near your National Cemetery, consider visiting a cemetery closest to you. There are veteran buried everywhere.
*If you live near a VA Hospital, find out about coming by and visiting with vets. If you aren't able to visit with anyone, find out how/when you can or simply bring some cards for the staff to distribute.
*Make a donation to a military or veteran specific non-profit. My personal favorite is the Wounded Warrior Project.
*If you know a Gold Star family, send them a card, drop off a meal, offer to mow their lawn, plant some flowers, or even have trees planted in their loved ones honor through the Arbor Day Foundation. This is so easy and for $10, 10 trees are planted and a card is mailed to the family. Click here for info.
If any of you have other ideas or want to share what you'll be doing on Memorial Day this year, please leave a comment.
Very good post. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteShannon, this is beautifully written, here I thought I was the only one feeling this way. Memorial Day, and so many other days are not "Happy" in our house they are hard, they are sad, they are anything but " Happy." More people need to step up and do what they can for our Military, thank you for posting the list!
ReplyDeleteGood post, Shannon. I was thinking of you today when my MIL called and left us a voicemail. She proceeded to act like an expert and say it was to honor our soldiers. So, in her mind, it's exactly like Veteran's Day. What?! This woman needs a talking to. I was not happy hearing that, especially since she should know better because her own son serves.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this and reminding us to really consider our words this weekend.
Great post, Shannon. You know, I have NEVER thought about Memorial Day in this sense, and I thank you for the wake up call. You are so right, there really isn't anything "happy" about this day and it should be a day we all use to reflect on and remember those who have sacrificed so much. I will definitely look into sending cards to a nearby VA hospital.
ReplyDeleteI have a lot of problems with people and Memorial Day. And Veterans Day, actually. Both times so many people come out of the wood work screaming praise and support for our service members. But after all the parades, BBQs, and excitement are over, so is the support. Simply saying "Yes, I support our troops" does NOTHING for any of us out here when you don't have any kind of action to back it up.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. As someone with three family members who have served in the military (one is about to head back over) I am always aware and conscious of our military service members and what they do! (BTW, found you on the blog hop.. new follower!)
ReplyDelete-Brandi
I encourage you to youtube and google Derek McGinnis. He wrote a book called "Exit Wounds"... I think you may find some comfort, or anyone, spouse or soldier dealing with the result of being overseas, PTSD, TBI, etc. I thought my husband didnt have a chance in recovery, and then he met Derek. Derek reaches out to vets and spouses/families, its amazing.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I'm a fellow active duty wife, so I can relate.
ReplyDeleteI'm your newest follower! :)
www.doylesdays.blogspot.com
Thank you so much. I was appalled today when I looked in the paper and read in the Classified section that they were wishing people a Happy Memorial Day.
ReplyDeleteI have been blessed that I never lost a family member whilst they served in the armed forces. However, I lived in a small town, and we used to honor Memorial Day with a parade. The Legion would march, as would the Disabled American Veterans. A wreath would be laid at the memorial in the center of town, and Taps would be played. We would see gentlemen shedding tears, remembering their fallen comrades, whose blood was shed in places like Normandy, Anzio Beach, Iwo Jima, Pacific and European Theatres, Korea, and Vietnam. We saw mothers weeping for their lost children, their classmates, friends, sweethearts, family members.....
Happy Memorial Day? I don't think so. Put down your barbecue or beer and just take a moment to reflect on those who gave all so that we could be free!