To celebrate my 100th posting on ...And Baby Makes Three!, I'm doing another great giveaway. This time it's both green friendly and something I think is pretty special.
The Arbor Day Foundation plants ten trees for every $10 donated and they will plant them in memory of a loved one. What a great way to better our environment and know that your LO is having a positive impact here on earth.
This giveaway is open to anyone who has experienced a miscarriage or pregnancy loss. All you have to do is leave a comment here with your e-mail address and name you wish to be remembered.
The winner will be chosen on July 14th, two weeks from today. I will contact you via e-mail and also announce it here on my blog. I will need your mailing address if you are the winner so I can send you the card that honors your baby :) Please don't include that in your comment though, I will get it from you via e-mail.
What Makes A Mother
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked, "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true
But, God, can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can he replied
With confidence in his voice
I give many women babies
When they leave it is not their choice
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for the day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God
I want my baby here
He took a breath
and cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing Here
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear,
but My mommy loved me so much
I got to come straight here!"
I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quickly
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow is where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
"Mommy, Please don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I am here"
So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lessons there are through
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates waiting for you
So now you see
What makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
I really am having a hard time adjusting to life in Central Texas. Anyone have a Bud Light they'd like to pass me right now? I'm craving one. Anyway, I need to vent and here are some of the things I miss about my life prior to now.
Cupcakes Actually. Heaven in a cupcake. This place was right around the corner from my house in Fairfax, VA. They have the most amazing flavors on earth. Never dry, always moist and delicious. Miss them terribly. There is no such thing as "couture" cupcakes in Central Texas. If someone even thought of opening one here, they'd be lucky to sell 100 cupcakes in a month. No market for posh here.
Mall at Millenia. I have to admit, there is rarely a mall like this anywhere. This is one of our major malls back home in Orlando. It's got high end, posh stores like Chanel, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, etc. You catch my drift. Don't worry, I never shopped at them (lol) but they did have regular stores like MAC, White House, Black Market, Macy's, etc. The closest MAC here is over an hour away in Austin. Sigh.
The beach. Period.
The Metro. After 4th of July last year, I never thought I'd say that. I seriously miss being able to pay a couple bucks, hop on a subway car, and go to the Capitol, The Washington Monument, The Smithsonian, etc. Nothing like it in the world...okay, perhaps NYC...but even that's 2nd in my mind.
Sometimes life just isn't fair. Be prepared for my rampage. I'm angry and since this is MY blog, I can say as I wish.
A really deserving friend of mine got her BFP a few days ago. Just in time for Father's Day and just before her husband goes on his first deployment. Prior to her even being PG, they chose his R&R to coincide with her EDD. After having several MC's, it looked like the stars were aligning for her and this was going to be her miracle baby. Yesterday, all of that changed. I know many women who struggle with infertility and who have had multiple miscarriages, but nobody deserves it more than her.
I'm infuriated. Who am I infuriated with and why? I'll tell ya. Gladly.
I'm pissed off with the people who get pregnant on accident their first try. I'm pissed at the people who get trashed during their pregnancies and WHOOPS...find out a few months later they are PG. I'm pissed with the people who treat their babies like an accessory. I'm pissed at the people who get PG to fulfill their own selfish needs. I'm pissed at the people who get PG and get PG and get PG and get PG and live off the system. I'm pissed at the people who don't appreciate what a GIFT it is to have children. It's not a right. I'm pissed at the people who KNOW someone that has infertility or has had trouble TTC, yet they shove it in your face. I'm pissed at the people (esp in the military) who look at you like you have 2 heads and 15 eyes if you don't have children at 25. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with YOU!?! Excuse me for not getting married at 19 and having 4 kids by the time I'm 25.
I have news for you, if I've stopped talking to you or never speak to you again once we meet...you probably fall into one of those categories. I'm through with people like that. Call me psycho, call me jealous...whatever you want. I don't need to surround myself with people who have it easy or take advantage of things. I've seriously had enough.
Here she is! This is the little girl we might be adopting. Fingers crossed! It's not exactly perfect timing because hubs and I leave in 3 weeks for our Vegas vacation. Normally, I wouldn't adopt a dog until we got back BUT...she has the same birthday as my miscarriage date. For me, that's ultra healing and just a sign that she should be with us. We don't have a deposit on her or anything because it's non-refundable. She's 4 hours away, so we don't want to do that, get there and something be horrible with her or the environment. I normally also don't buy dogs from a breeder. I actually never have. I've searched the adoption facilities and rescues and can't find what we're looking for. Don't hate me :-/ I'll continue to look until Sunday, just in case.
Anyway, I've wanted a little girl dog forever and never had one in all my life...let alone a small one. I grew up with german shepherds, mutts, and labs.
What do you think we should name her? Here are some of our ideas so you can see where we are going:
So, did I tell you? I don't think I've been specific but hubs and I are headed to Vegas next month! WOO-HOO! We are in such great need of a getaway. We've never been on a REAL vacation before, so this is super exciting. It can't come fast enough.
This will be my third trip out there and his first. I'm not a gambler but he loves to play poker. I prefer to sightsee, lay by the pool, and get my drink on. Now that we aren't TTC, I can do that with ease. I can't wait!
So yes, my inner need to parent is still there...though mild. I think I get my baby fix by taking care of Marisol during the day. Yes, I still eventually want peanuts of my own but not now. Now, I'm turning to a dog. YIPPIE! DH & I agreed BEFORE we were married that we wouldn't be getting a pet until we had children. Oops. With all that's going on in our marriage and with me losing the baby, I really think it would be a good idea and a FANTASTIC alternative to children. What do ya'll think? I've been dying for a teeny tiny dog for years now. I'm thinking Chi, Yorkie, Pug, etc. My dad has a pug that I adore but DH isn't too stoked on them. I did convince him however that it is MY decision bc he will be leaving and going overseas eventually and I'll be caring for the thing for a year. LOL. Like how I worked that one in there right?
You're probably wondering wth I have "Deconstructed Hot Wing" in my subject line. I'm a HUGE Top Chef fan although I have to say I missed the premiere tonight due to my homework. (Finished my MGMT class with a B! YAY!) Anyway, they had a marathon of last season and in one of the episodes they had to deconstruct classic dishes and one guy came up with this BOMB chicken wing. The judges raved about it and of course THEY SAY the recipes are online on BravoTV.com but I sure as heck can't find it. If someone else does, holler! I want to make it!
I literally SCREAMED and jumped up and down at the top of my lungs at tonights episode.
OH. MY. GOSH.
Okay, please for those who don't believe me go back a few entries to my first video blog and tell me I so didn't call this. I knew from the get go when Roxy got pregnant it was too good to be true. Then, even back then I figured they'd turn the story to infertility. BINGO!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
I am seriously so glad they are presenting this issue. It is totally ridic to compare your life to a fictional tv character but seriously, I'm Roxy. Army life is hard. Infertility is harder. Combine the two and it's near impossible. People just don't think about that. Trevor is deploying. Soon. They have one shot to get it right which basically translates to...it's not going to happen.
In similar news, we've received an "update" on when Michael is to deploy. Due to OPSEC (Operational Security) I cannot reveal when or where that will be. Sooner than we thought is all I will say.
With our decision to stop TTC there is no time for Michael to be present any longer for a full pregnancy and delivery. That window is now obsolete. Welcome to the life. I'm presuming things won't get better fast enough and I'll be baby-less for the next couple years. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I don't know if our marriage is strong enough to survive that, yet not strong enough to bring a baby into. Strange right?
DH and I have discussed that I will not send a "Dear John" letter while he is deployed and I will not stay in an unhappy marriage while he's gone either. Things always get worse once they come back, not to mention on 2nd and subsequent deployments. There's a lot of changes that need to be made within the next few months. I pray they happen and although I have faith, I just don't know.
So to those of you who are anxiously awaiting the winner of the Conceive Magazine giveaway, I didn't forget about you. Things have been absolutely crazy within our lives so I had to divert my attention to other things. Forgive me?
With that said, I'm going to extend the contest another week until Sunday, June 20th. I'm also going to change the rules a bit to enable more to be able to get on board...so here goes.
1. You must be a follower of my blog AND you must leave me a comment here. If you already commented on the original post here, you're all good! (1 entry)
2. Tweet about it using the hash tag #babymakes3 and be sure to include the link to my blog. (1 entry each tweet)
I will write down everyones names on a slip of paper and draw someone via video blog on Sunday PM.
I hope this allows some of you others who were interested but didn't have Twitter to have a chance.
So, I feel like my gal to the left. Not okay. Let me start by giving you the "normal" for me.
I'm 5'8", was always athletic, and enjoyed working out for many years after high school (graduated in 2003). Then, I lost interest but still was able to maintain my weight of 125. I had always gotten compliments on my body and my legs which was awesome. In high school, I had rock hard abs. It was AWESOME. Flash forward to this past year or so and it's all gone down the drain.
I always prided myself on not ever getting past 130, which is still considered on the lower end of normal according to BMI standards. I went to my OB this week and weighed in at 140. The most I've ever been in my entire life. Most of it is in my thighs and tummy and I think the tummy has A LOT to do with my PCOS. Most women who have it, have an "inner tube" around their waists. I fear I'm getting that now.
So, I started my workout routine this morning at 5am. I'm starting off slow because I haven't REALLY worked out consistently in about 1.5 years. SICK. I picked up Jillian Michael's "30 Day Shred" DVD at Target for $9. It came highly recommended from my fellow blogger friend Kelly. It has AMAZING reviews on Amazon to my surprise so I'm excited. I usually don't do dvd/videos but I'm willing to give this one a shot. After doing it this evening, I can barely stand. YOWCH! Here's my weekly plan:
Mondays - 1 mile on treadmill, followed by Boot Camp Class at gym. PM 30 Day Shred, Level 1
Tuesdays - 30 Day Shred, Level 1. PM Zumba.
Wednesdays - 2 miles on treadmill, PM Yoga & 30 Day Shred, Level 1
Thursdays - 2 miles on treadmill. PM 30 Day Shred, Level 1
Fridays - 1 mile on treadmill, followed by Boot Camp Class at gym. PM 30 Day Shred, Level 1
Saturdays - OFF
Sundays - 30 Day Shred, Level 1
Sounds pretty ambitious right? Let's hope I can stick with it for the next 5 weeks before DH & I take off to Vegas. I'm also doing a 7 day detox so I'll let you know how that goes too :)
Who agrees that this oil spill has gotten OUT OF CONTROL? I know we all do. Do you remember the commercials for Dawn dish soap that showed them cleaning animals with their product during a spill years ago? I do. Have you seen the campaign on Facebook for hair collection? I have. These are just a couple things you can do to help our animals and our environment during this crisis.
My good friend Patty contacted The Wildlife Care Center in Florida to find out what they need and how we can directly help. Below is the list given to her, along with the address of where to send these supplies. Please help! You can buy bottles of dish soap for a buck at regular stores, not to mention a lot of this stuff you can get from the dollar store! If you have older children or teach, consider getting the kids involved by donating their allowance or doing a drive.
The Wildlife Care Center is gearing up to help animals affected by the oil spill in the Gulf. If you are in the South Florida region and want to help, The WCC is in need of the following supplies:
• Dawn detergent
• 10-20 gallon or larger galvanized aluminum, or other sturdy tubs for washing oiled animals
• Cardboard pet carriers
• Neoprene gloves (dishwashing gloves that come up to the elbow)
• Protective eyewear
• Soft toothbrushes
• Soft sided playpens (foldable) to house oiled or cleaned birds
• Above-ground metal frame pool for easy storage and assembly
• Eye wash (saline)
• Measuring cups • Heating pads
• Heat lamps
• Digital thermometers
• Thermometers with calibration up to 106 Fahrenheit
• Spray attachments for hoses
• Rubber boots
• Unflavored pedialyte
• Protective suits (Tyvek)
• Fishing landing nets
• Sheets, blankets, towels
Wildlife Care Center 3200 SW 4th Ave.,
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33315.
Now that I'm working again, I LOVE FRIDAYS! So much so that I overslept this morning and was late for work. OOPS! Thank goodness her Fridays are flexible. Had I caused her to miss a patient appointment on her clinic days, I would have felt even more terrible. (BTW, Mom & Dad are doctors)
So today is Follow Me Friday! If you're not following my blog already, please do! Leave me a comment here and I'll be sure to follow you back if I'm not already.
Another thing I absolutely love about is Favorite Things on Fridays. So, without further adeau here are some of my faves:
Cafe du Monde has A-MAZING coffee! If you've never been to New Orleans, you've never had the incredible experience of visiting the actual Cafe du Monde. They have been around since 1862! Can you believe it? It has to be good if it's been around for that long right? Anyway, I'm not a HUGE coffee drinker and I prefer it cold above all. This stuff is so hard to find in regular grocery stores and I've been searching for about a year now since leaving Florida. I finally found it here in Texas and was OVERJOYED! If you're a coffee drinker, PLEASE do yourself a favor and pick some of this stuff up. It's so yummy!
This perfume is awesome. I got it for Christmas a year or so ago and still use it. (Is that bad!?!) Anyway, I love the light and powdery fresh smell. I'm not one for harsh, heavy perfumes so this one is perfectly feminine and lovely. Love it!
Okay seriously, I cannot live without this thing. I used to have one of those hand choppers...you know...the ones you slam down and get all your frustrations out with. Afterwards, you get a major hand cramp. It sucks! After we got a Williams & Sonoma giftcard for a wedding gift, I searched the site for some of the top rated things and this came up. IT ROCKS. If you are in need of a chopper, seriously look no further. It's FAB-O!
Here's a snapshot of the little girl I'm nannying for now. She's so presh! Don't mind me with no makeup and my gym clothes. HAH. Great part about working "from home." She's tons 'o fun and a good baby. It's really nice for me to have a little one to love on since we don't have any of our own and won't for a while. I get to sorta pretend she's mine for 10 hours a day :)
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! So for some mysterious reason, I can no longer post on TheBump.com. I'm so frustrated. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, the creators of TheKnot.com also have TheBump.com for pregnancy related things. I post and find incredible support from ladies on the Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss board. I noticed today someone posted something wondering how I was doing. SO SWEET, THANK YOU! I have tried EVERYTHING and it keeps telling me I need to confirm my e-mail address. HUH? I've had an account for like 5 years and never had this problem. I even tried changing the email address today and still nothing. Sigh. Guess I'll have to start a new account when I feel up to it. I couldn't find a contact e-mail address for them. So to my Bump gals, I'm thinking about you and when I get time...I'll be back on! :)
Now for an update on the DH & I. He came back home on Tuesday. I was really nervous to how things would go seeing that we've been apart for almost a week. The transition went really well and things are better than ever. Knock on wood. Still not out of the clear yet as command is not "finished" with him. Whatever the outcome from that is going to determine a whole lot. For those of you confused, once everything passes I can go in to more detail, but for now...I have to leave it at that. For now, I'm thankful I have a happy, positive husband. I pray it stays that way.